Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML
Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML
Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, my mom is pissed and grounded me when I didn’t show girlish, squealing enthusiasm when she went out and came home with a dog; a big dog. I hate dogs, there is no creature I despise more than dogs. I prefer spiders to dogs, and she knows this. FML
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Top comments
TransitionCovert 6
F the dogs life
decko44 7
Parenting fail.
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Comments (92)
MrLookAtThere 10
I wish your dog had died! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
pie29302930 0
I hope you die... JK, but I hope you get beat up or something, i don't know.
amrik 11
You're an asshole. Go die in a hole
lajaynay 15
Wear a condom cuz you're obviously a dick.
lajaynay 15
Please don't have a dog.
MrLookAtThere 10
I'm glad I could be of assistance
Jordanalanna 5
Lucky your dog is ok... Screwed up mom! Good luck!
YUNOGUY 0
CHOCOLATE, Y U NO GOOD FOR DOG?
mnmolino 14
All dogs go to heaven
Inediblepeaches 15
It's a movie too
drlove78843 6
I wish I was a dog
Snafuusmc 12
Aww poor dog just make it happy and give it some turkey.
DarkStarTheFirst 9
its a dog eat chocolate world out there....corny i know but i just had to
abbybailey204 19
Moms these days
DarkStarTheFirst 9
a question from a poor sap here...how do you favouritize an FML
Jaxx66 21
Depends. If you are using a iPhone you can tap the star at the bottom to the right. :) I don't know on a computer or a droid, I've never actually been on the site.
pie29302930 0
My dog ate a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies before and she's still alive....
Okayitwasme 0
So! That just means your dog won't live as long. It will die of some sort of illness which you will have to pay a fortune for!
Lizzy500 16
Because there's not all that much cocoa in a chocolate chip cookie. It's the theobromine in the cocoa powder that's toxic. But it depends on how much theobromine and how big the dog is. Alcohol is poisonous to humans. Drink too much of it, and you'll die. But most people who drink alcohol don't die. Drink just a little bit, you probably won't feel a thing. A little bit more, and you'll feel buzzed. Drink a lot, and you're probably going to throw up. Also, 300 lb linebacker isn't going to get a buzz from one beer, but a 90 lb cheerleader probably will. You can also drink a quart of wine coolers without much problem, but don't try that with whiskey. There's a lot more alcohol in whiskey. Similarly, if a dog eats a few chocolate chips, probably no big deal. After a Hershey bar, might be shaky and have an elevated heartbeat. If a dog eats a whole bulk bag of M&M's, it'll probably vomit and have diarrhea, along with a racing heartbeat. If it gets into baking chocolate, which is pretty much pure cocoa (think chugging Jack Daniel's in the alcohol analogy), you're probably looking at seizures and death. There's also a much bigger weight range in the canine species than us mere humans. A 120 lb Lab probably can handle that bag of M&M's, but a 6 lb Yorkie is gonna be in a world of hurt.
Poomoobear 0
Yeah my dog steals chocolate bars and packets of chips, don't see what the big deal is. He's healthy and got the most shiniest coat his vet has seen apparently :l
chels1994 11
I personally thought everyone knew that dogs shouldn't eat chocolate...hope he/she is okay though