Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I spent all day baking dog-safe cookies for my pup's birthday. He sniffed them, turned around, and started begging for one of MY processed garbage cookies from a store instead. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
You seem bright.
artisticninja713 13
How the hell would you know if the dog was mad at you?
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Comments (153)
Freeze_fml 17
You seem bright.
captaintaco 0
lol... simple but effective comment
Jonkbaby 23
ydi for eating your dog
HandOfClod 0
I've seen dog treats disguised as human cookies with sprinkles and whatnots! You could probably trick someone if they didn't smell bad.
ladiesman14 0
u just ate a dead pussy, dog, or horse carcass. they use dead pets in dog and cat food. he dead animals you see on the side of the road, thats where they end up in pet food for the protein.
superbadd 0
lol @ 1
Football_5tar_JR 0
OH-EHM-GEE you ATE a DOG treat?! quick call the paramedics! She's going into shock! Not an FML.
TurboTalon 0
You deserve it for having a dog as a best friend.
lonerftl 3
How is this a FML? You ate a dog treat, get over it.
boating_guy 33
YDI fo actually eating those without realizing it's for dogs and I hope ur dog kicked u out the house and made u sleep outside
Shutupmeg 0
dogs don't get mad at people, they don't hold onto emotions, since they don't have any to start with.
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^^ I hope you're trolling. OP- Wasn't the box a dead giveaway? Or do you keep his treats in a cookie jar so he feels special, even though he probably can't tell? Most boxes I've seen have something that makes it obvious. But I guess now you'll have a shiny coat and stronger teeth.
dudeitsdanny 10
Forgot to add... Who told the dog you were eating his treats? That's the only hweird part to me. Smart dog?
Ouroboros_fml 0
I agree with OP's dog, except I'd take it a step furthe ad say dog treats are probably better tasting than peanutbutter cookies. IMO, worst cookie ever
Ouroboros_fml 0
and people don't be dull, he's trying to relay te fact that his dog saw him eating a dry crunchy cookie, which made the same sound its treats made when it ate them, so it rally was a cookie, the dog just THOUGHT it was one of its treats. FOR SERIOUS, learn to literacy!!!! (unless they were home made dog treats, or store bought dog teats stored either in cookie packaging or a box that would suggest to the OP that they were human cookies)
tsc32 2
That selfish birch of a dog wouldn't let you have some chow time to yourself? **** that dog.
tsc32 2
^ bitch* iPhone just ruined the awesome effect of my text :(
bubbarific 0
in Soviet Russia, dogs treat you!
tekinzdudez 0
49 lol you're an idiot
dudeitsdanny 10
69- For serious? Learn to literacy? 1. Literacy is not a verb. 2. For serious isn't really correct. 3. No, that's not what the FML says. Read it again, you absolute idiot, then talk about literacy. 4. I also hope you're a troll.
tweetbaby14 18
OP if you really just made an fml about your dog being mad I'm going to assume you have no friends or social life. it's a damn animal boo hoo you can't pet or play with it for a day.
pingpongpickle 8
so ..your dog told you they were his treats?
RubberDelight 0
Maybe a little birdie told him. Lol
the_pan1c 5
lol win
azhein 0
I don't thing dogs get mad and if they do they forget about pretty fast
retep26 0
are you ******* insane?! did the dog TELL you he was mad or something?
nuke_o 0
Animals do have feelings. BTW. A dog being mad isn't the same as a human being mad. When a dog is mad he will usually shy away from you and hide or openly express it by growling. Duh.
Chickenfoot117 6
Uh huh, I take it #6 reads tabloid magazines?Oh, and OP, this is the reason that it is illegal to skip school too many times, especially kindergarten
epiccarrot 0
OP reminds me of shaggy, he loves his scooby snacks :P
torontobuds 0
81 your so cool trying to proove people wrong with your perfect English like seriously Boone gives a flying **** if there English is 100% correct and I believe 69 was right.
dudeitsdanny 10
Mine isn't perfect either, but if you're gonna preach about literacy, be literate. "Our children's literacy are falling."
caitlynnbby 0
I tried a dog cookie at Petco that looked like a human cookie, and it was pretty good. Lol. You can hardly taste the difference.
ibanez370 0
81 ftw
tomtm7 0
ur dog was mad at u for eating his cookies?..... that dog needs to chill the hell out
x3molover 0
hehe it's ok (: I still understood (I get te same thing all the time with my iPhone)
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
Hey we got a smart one here everyone!!! LOL XD
starberries 0
I am going to use the phrase "learn to literacy!!!!" as often as possible.
supermon99 0
ydi for stealing the dogs food. Fatass.
i_needa_username 17
Well it's better than being a jackass, #4
My2864 1
right....
savemypandabear 0
usually animal foods and treats have a distinct smell. either you can't smell for shit or you must've been horkin down doggie treats without chewing....were they in a labrled bag? how do you not know? lmao it wasn't like 'mom decided to put dog treats in our cookie jar.' lol
lky830 0
agreed with 7. dog treats are also really dry... I don't know how you couldn't notice
love_me_electric 20
Well, homemade dog treats don't really look that different from regular cookies. And they just use normal ingredients found in pretty much every kitchen, so they don't smell or taste much different either. I can see how OP would make the mistake. My question is, why are they just eating random cookies that someone left out? Didn't they consider that they might actually BELONG to someone?
katplayer 4
Iunno, man, I used to have hamsters and there was this one brand of treats that was delicious. I mean, I ate them. They were cheese-flavored yogurt treats and man, they were good. I'd give one to the hammy and pop one myself. I convinced my dad and grandma to try one too, and they even agreed.
Ariasmake_1 0
op must be a fat ass
austinnicole 3
Jackass much?
XxXsurferdude18X 0
lol you deserved it, I'd be mad at you too if you ate my cookies
artisticninja713 13
How the hell would you know if the dog was mad at you?
jeragonm 15
How would the dog know that you are its treats?
fallout_new_vega 0
how the hell do u NOT notice ur eating a dog treat man!?!? smooth move lol.and tell ur dog I feel srry u ate his treats
redcheckers1011 1
i agree with #7.
iLuvsIt 10
your dog? okay…