Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, my dog wouldn't stop pestering me while I was eating some chocolate mousse. I tried to get him to leave me alone for a bit by pretending to throw the mousse far away. The pot stayed in my hand, but I covered the furniture in chocolate mousse. My dog enjoyed cleaning it up. FML
Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML
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Top comments
bl3ur0z3 17
You ate off the floor? YDI
ojosRojos 28
Could’ve just thrown it away...
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Comments (12)
bl3ur0z3 17
You ate off the floor? YDI
Ksweety_fml 27
So, how shit taste?
123Puppy 33
You’re disgusting...You should’ve just cleaned it up...
ojosRojos 28
Could’ve just thrown it away...
Sady_Ct 38
Don’t eat shit off the floor! YTDI
shannon2348 14
Chocolate is not good for dogs but it is not poisonous.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Depends on the quantity consumed.
alycion 39
Depends on type, amount consumed, and weight of the dog. But in no world is a tiny piece of semi sweet milk chocolate going to kill a dog on its own. Pet MD even has a chocolate toxicity meter. I get the thought process though. I don’t get eating off of the floor with pets though. Even if I just washed them with bleach.
fullacrapallofyou 14
Dumbass
mooshake 15
Wow, you really did deserve this one.
Matthew Irmen 11
5 second rule