Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
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Top comments
myname_fml 0
How do you know the poster isn't a female? Plus, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin in college. Just saying.
LemonLolly 10
You don't have to be a non-virgin to be a cheater
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Comments (32)
myname_fml 0
How do you know the poster isn't a female? Plus, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin in college. Just saying.
rockinbecca2 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your a virgin in college, aren't you?
Shadowvoid 33
You are a virgin and 15 I assume. If not, way to be a ***** :) you really give hope to this generation. (Sarcasm) You have no business making fun of these guys, some people believe virginity actually means something. You can't really make fun of people for having good morals.
Shadowvoid 33
You can't make fun of someone for being a virgin, some people actually have good morals and believe in means something. You just look idiotic trying to point out someone is a virgin, big deal. You don't give this generation a lot of hope.
keyofdestiny13 24
#12, the OP is male. It says so on the FML.
kate7 0
#6 your response is just dumb. they said they were a virgin because obviously it wasn't them because they didn't cheat. and no, dumb girls key cars and smash shit. smart girls do stupid little things consistantly that will just ruin even 5 minutes of your day. they are smart enough not to do something they will have to pay for..especially paying for a whole new paint job.
nava1210 12
Just because he's a virgin doesn't mean that he didn't cheat. You can cheat by simply going out with another person other than your boyfriend/girlfriend and mess around with them
blah_blah_shity 0
#14... weeds alright! and that has nothing to do with anything. that sucks ur car was ******. make sure everyone knows that it was your car. mybe the chick will feel bad and do you a favor LOL
jorma_fml 0
So get the girl's phone number and start dating her!
julzziee 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you have your own car but your a virgin? seriously?
CoDandBlowjobs 8
****. Some people have morals.
ttoriiii 10
What does one have anything to do with the other?
craigahh 0
This is the same as a Jason Blaine music video.
thedevilsworkday 0
# 14: think about where the world would be without sex or pot dealers. not a place i want to be a part of.
shnibz101 0
Idk how being a lesbian has any to do with this FML but ok that sucks
judemeister 0
you made me lol. there is soooo much i could say to this... for one thing, there's this magical thing called a CONDOM. there's also; don't sleep with sk*nks in the first place, you don't need to be a virgin to get serious with a woman (unless she is highly religious), and funnily enough, one night stands and such will not suddenly turn a man into a drug dealer. oh, and how the sk*nk will sleep around "because he knocked her up"? i didn't realise pregnancy compelled women to sleep around. haha. seriously though, you actually made me lol. feel proud.
LolAtYourFail 12
just switch liscence plates then your good.