Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
It's the thought that counts OP, and I'm sorry for your dog
renrioku 15
Sorry for your loss OP, but your girlfriend may not have known the situation.
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Comments (41)
A07 48
It's the thought that counts OP, and I'm sorry for your dog
tranced_ 45
Chocolate kills .. True story!
renrioku 15
Sorry for your loss OP, but your girlfriend may not have known the situation.
watermelon15 35
I guess she didn't know the reason? Hopefully, anyway. At least she tried to support you. So sorry op
Halfass 8
I'm sory for your loss, OP, but I think your gf is just trying to cheer you up by being sweet.
lexiieeex3 32
I bet she had pure intentions even though she may have acted absentmindedly
Boometh 15
I'm blown away at the idea that there's even one person out there in this world who thinks that you deserved this.
no_playa_hater 14
I don't exactly think they deserve it, but I don't understand why they would get sadder by eating chocolate now.
lynnlady 6
You don't understand why it would be upsetting to eat the same thing that just killed his dog? Obviously it isn't a life changing devastation to eat chocolate cake, just kind of salt on an open wound.
brezzyanna 17
I guess it depends on the person. I personally wouldn't be upset by the chocolate. I'd be see estates about my dog, but testing chocolate wouldn't make it worse.
Gib31 19
It will never be said enough. Chocolate is mortally toxic for dogs. So sorry for your loss... at least you have a caring girlfriend. *hug*
Shade1982 21
True, but that only goes for pure chocolate. The amount you would need to kill a dog with normal chocolate products (which are nowhere near pure) is lot.
soulreaper12296 28
OP never said it was chocolate cake, they just said cake. But still, someone should know when they've given to much of something to a pet.
soulreaper12296 28
Ok I misread the FML and didn't realize it does in fact, say chocolate. And since FML doesn't let you delete a comment and I couldn't edit it, I now have to look like an idiot trying to explain myself.
DoomedGemini 38
Depends on the size of the dog too.
tyty763 10
reasons to have a big dog and amounts of chocolate to kill dogs. White chocolate: 200 ounces per pound of body weight. It takes 250 pounds of white chocolate to cause signs of poisoning in a 20-pound dog, 125 pounds for a 10-pound dog.Milk chocolate: 1 ounce per pound of body weight. Approximately one pound of milk chocolate is poisonous to a 20-pound dog; one-half pound for a 10-pound dog. The average chocolate bar contains 2 to 3 ounces of milk chocolate. It would take 2-3 candy bars to poison a 10 pound dog. Semi-sweet chocolate has a similar toxic level.Sweet cocoa: 0.3 ounces per pound of body weight. One-third of a pound of sweet cocoa is toxic to a 20-pound dog; 1/6 pound for a 10-pound dog.Baking chocolate: 0.1 ounce per pound body weight. Two one-ounce squares of bakers' chocolate is toxic to a 20-pound dog; one ounce for a 10-pound dog.
brezzyanna 17
I thought white chocolate was more dangerous? Huh, this is interesting. My dog is 40 pounds and steals chocolate a lot, so we don't buy bakers chocolate or anything but milk chocolate really, so she's safer
91hayek 31
Well she meant well, the fact that she made you a cake is really thoughtful. If you're not going to eat it don't let it near your dad or he might feed other dogs too. What an idiot.