Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
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Top comments
indistructo 3
you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever
Glitterhinoceros 14
It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend
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Comments (176)
indistructo 3
you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever
DrDilllonReese 12
Your girlfriend is funny. So funny I would say punny
blackheart24 10
Bahahaha that's ****** hilarious. I love this joke.
LexiMariee16 0
I love your girlfriend OP!! YDI for acting like a dick in the first place, just be glad she didn't dump your butt!
Futacy 30
was it a used condom?
mstangchck 9
Awesome!
soccerguy2 11
Wear it to dinner with her parents when you do.
xoconnie 8
wellllll, what can i say... stop acting like a dick fool! come on. and thats really funny lol
jonan1212 5
You should be glad it fits you.
Feklfekl2222 32
5- Do you even know he meaning of the word punny? I really doubt you do......
DrDilllonReese 12
She made a play on the word dick by using both of it's meanings. A pun... Never question me again.
amoscore 5
I just saw this condom thing on twitter today.
Naitsi 19
so true :P
hcarp3812 0
What does OP mean? Just curious, & it's bothering me.
cr3ativity 15
Original poster
purplishzebraz 0
Well she has a point
markrs 0
Hahahahaa, your girlfriend is punny!
SirObvious 1
If you acted like a bitch would you dress as her? Jk
baconftw 9
Your girlfriend is very creative :D
crimsonlover4 31
At least she left it unused?
Fruit_Dealer 9
Its hard to use a condom as a girl when you're alone. Except when you have fruits at your disposal... Another great business opportunity.
TeamSynergy 1
She was implying that it was a goos thing his girlfriend did not cheat on him.
TeamSynergy 1
good*
a7xmetal47 0
He never see it was unused
nlm92 15
178 if it was used in pretty sure that would be in the fml too.
BigBacker 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Use the condom and **** her, them go back to being a Dick. Free condoms and sex, doesn't sound too bad haha. She got you good though FYL
LaughinStock 16
I highly doubt she is going to have sex with him, unless she's a real dumbass.
BigBacker 0
I was being facetious...
ikickgingers 15
If you need to explain you were being facetious - you aren't doing it right.
lex1459 38
You sound like the biggest dick of all.
devonisthebest 7
Really
Glitterhinoceros 14
It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend
kings1fan 6
they actually make condom costumes haha
mnmolino 14
At least she buys condoms
jorrrk 0
Agreed cause all we need is another dick head on this planet
metallicshadow 16
sorry, but you just got owned
thebransan 0
Wear it proud
joee182 3
she coulda been more creative instead of using some lame joke ha
clw1740 0
How is that not creative? Its quite humorous
purplishzebraz 0
What is more creative than that
punchline_fml 5
You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first.
joee182 3
14:its just me ive heard it before its one of those jokes you laugh at the first time you hear it then after its not funny but thats just me
onecrazybitch 0
You could've been more creative instead of writing some lame comment.
Yanaa_fml 0
Well it's not creative, since she didn't come up with it on her own. I saw this on tumblr last month.
ikickgingers 15
Yes--because nobody reuses phrases they have seen before. Ahhahahaghddjisiii jajsjsjs. uehhfj Diegojdjbd disks sjsjsjsi sjsjsjsi shauaijendndj. ^^ I made that up. It's short in ikickgingers for stfu.
raphanne_fml 33
#10 Well, it's still more creative than what you wrote on your profile...
awesomeamandas 37
84, how do you know she didn't actually think of this on her own? I say things all the time that I've never heard or read anywhere then come across the same thing at a later time. just because YOU saw it on tumblr doesn't mean she did.
taytoc 10
That must Rly hurt u on the inside. Just letting u know u deserve it dick
Fruit_Dealer 9
Because you know OP.. Please hibernate until the next full moon.
ikickgingers 15
Really Loves Yoda?
coletrain11 5
Taytoc, you're dumb.