Anonymous
West End, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jesstracy
Naperville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hungry boi
Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML
BrokenVow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
FidoForever
🌶️ Spicy
Doggy dog world
Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML
poopface82
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
PCJJacket
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Lilah
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Top comments
melaniaeviania 7
Dang that's an expensive *****!
Tripartita 45
Hello magical vibrating dog!
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Comments (127)
hoosiergirl94 31
Lol what sex life?
mliajkfml 15
I know a great cheap sex toy. You've got the dog, now all you need is the peanut butter.
straymondar 10
Just get your dog to bone you.
Hildy93 21
Ha you're ******. No wait....
mommiof2 6
For $120 that thing better make you breakfast in bed and dispense gold coins
Bunnyluver 20
Me because now I'm "frustrated": (-_-) < [ ]> /
captain_Shotgun 6
I think you deserved it
__doge__ 15
YDI for leaving it somewhere your dog could find it, if it's so expensive and you don't want it to be ruined.
Lazureneku777 13
if it helps, at least your dog has a bone
chosha_fml 27
Do you not have hands? That's just as much sex life as you'll get from just you and a *****.
sweetpotato301 7
Lol no, ****** are much bigger and have multiple settings
Nacelle 7
since when do hands get all of those hard-to-reach places?
Bunnyluver 20
Not everyone can get off with their hands.