Anonymous
West End, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
jesstracy
Naperville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hungry boi
Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML
BrokenVow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
FidoForever
🌶️ Spicy
Doggy dog world
Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML
poopface82
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
PCJJacket
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Lilah
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Top comments
melaniaeviania 7
Dang that's an expensive *****!
Tripartita 45
Hello magical vibrating dog!
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Comments (127)
jmbast126 2
Get some dick.
LevelupKid 8
You do realize that you had no sex life if all you had was a ***** right?
GirlKillerBadger 9
just get a man lmao
dickgamestrong 9
look at the bright side, that's two things you turned on!
Cynakill 11
Maybe the dog was jealous.
Ddudug 7
Maybe your dog doesn't enjoy it as much as you thought think he does.
Bryce Birge 5
ances are that if you have a $120 ***** you didn't have a sex life in the first place
Jeremy Phillips 18
If you were that reliant on a ***** you didn’t have a sex life to begin with.
J15237 25
First off I hope that ***** gave you mind blowing orgasms. But seriously why good bye sex life? Its a lot of money,but really? A bit much if you as me.