Anonymous
West End, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jesstracy
Naperville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hungry boi
Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML
BrokenVow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
FidoForever
🌶️ Spicy
Doggy dog world
Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML
poopface82
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
PCJJacket
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Lilah
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Top comments
melaniaeviania 7
Dang that's an expensive *****!
Tripartita 45
Hello magical vibrating dog!
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Comments (127)
CliffyB03 28
What sex life?
MAT1218 7
this is technical but if you're using a *****, no matter how expensive; than you don't have a "sex life". You're masterbating, not having sex.
DanielleinDC 34
Masturbation is a form of sex. So, yes, this is a sex life.
Nacelle 7
ever consider it's fun to use one on your woman? She'll thank you for the multiple orgasms. One from it, one from you.
Kajbest 13
Your pussy must taste sweet! ??
SteveDudleyUK 10
Your ***** is now well and truly fu***d.
iamdman 22
get a YDI from me. Wash it and put it away. 150 dollar toys shouldn't be left out for the world to play with. Luckily "anything's a ***** if your brave enough", oh wait wrong app. Carry on.
Dilexar 26
$120
Lily_Rain77 25
I agree completely. It's pretty well known that dogs will chew anything, especially if it has to do with the crotch. everything from underwear to ****** should always but put away securely.
MidnaLink 35
You paid $120 for something that goes up your twat! What, does it have party like and earthquake style vibrations?
MidnaLink 35
*lights*
moondoglou420 17
It actually has 3 settings, tender virgin, drunken frat boy, and black thunder.
HotMamaBBM 11
Well I guess you'll have to go the old fashion way. And use your fingers. Lol
19foxy81 8
Ain't the a bitch - u got "****-blocked" by ur bitch
OhPuhleeze 23
Oral B Vitality Plus Floss Action Power Toothbrush is half price at Coles :)
Xquisite1 28
More like "masturbation life".