Anonymous
West End, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jesstracy
Naperville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hungry boi
Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML
BrokenVow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
FidoForever
🌶️ Spicy
Doggy dog world
Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML
poopface82
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
PCJJacket
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Lilah
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Top comments
melaniaeviania 7
Dang that's an expensive *****!
Tripartita 45
Hello magical vibrating dog!
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Comments (127)
helveeta 11
Clean your room.
Mysterybounty 6
If your ***** is your sex life you needed him to chew it he is helping you.
walker9879 25
BD?
Ryasha 6
having a $120 ***** is what really said goodbye to your sex life.
Ih8teenageangst 20
you'll finger it out.
C8H18 33
LOL! Why aren't you the top comment right now?
tophlikearock 2
keep it in a drawer so the dog can't get at it?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Maybe you can get one in used condition online for cheap. ;-D Also, I wonder how many profile views the women commenting on this post are getting from thirsty fellas.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm reminded of the episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon is cleaning out Penny's closet and asks if she had a dog, because he found "a battery-operated rubber chew toy." :D
OtakuTaco 15
Who buys a $120 *****?!
Casual_Cthulhu 12
Someone who doesn't expect to get any action anytime soon.
Mylehz 13
idk my sister got one that can be used solo or with her boyfriend for over $100, so sometimes it's not that
Nacelle 7
you get what you pay for. quality materials.
bigmeechay666 8
Having a ***** is not a sex life