Anonymous
West End, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jesstracy
Naperville, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Hungry boi
Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML
BrokenVow
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
FidoForever
🌶️ Spicy
Doggy dog world
Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML
poopface82
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?
Today, my fiancee and I had sex. Evidently, our dog didn’t consent because he destroyed my ear bud and tried to destroy my only pair of glasses during the act. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
PCJJacket
Los Angeles, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Lilah
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Top comments
melaniaeviania 7
Dang that's an expensive *****!
Tripartita 45
Hello magical vibrating dog!
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Comments (127)
Jachin357 28
Easy solution. peanut butter.
Gastondeluxe 15
Goodbye sex life, welcome masturbation life!
mssileas 25
Well they do love the material. See if you can get him a silicone chew toy, and get yourself a ***** that doesn't cost you an arm and a leg, wtf.
milleso5 10
boyfriends can be cheaper than that!!
Dictionaryspeaks 18
This is sad in a few ways.. But hey you don't need a man to complete you... just a new vibrator good luck.. Maybe if your broke you could just go to the store and improvise
vikky538 29
It's a sign.. Go get a real one which the dog cannot chew
dantedevil500 13
Become Whitney Wisconsin. That's always an option
Saikon1357 25
Bad dragon?
gingerlover01 24
why would you pay 120 for something you're gonna put up your lady area. honey you can buy them for less and maybe next time doggy proof the location you choose to put it in
Cavalrysword 8
I'm impressed that nobody went with Lover's Triangle.