Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML
Today, I had an argument with my dad about how Alpo dog food is trash and is why his dog keeps having terrible farts and diarrhea. My dad refuses to believe me, so now I'm always scrubbing vile, smelly, mucous-laden dog diarrhea out of the carpet. I'm a pet nutritionist. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
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Top comments
Midrash 5
I am surprise a guy like that was able to get laid
RedPillSucks 33
I feel the same way about girl scout cookies.
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Comments (134)
Calyx_fml 22
It sounds like he is allergic to logic too.
perdix 31
Some morons think "allergic" is synonymous with "doesn't like," as in "I'm allergic to Justin Bieber."
iam_yummylicious 12
But I really am allergic to Justin Beiber. When he songs come on the radio I start asphyxiate and become violently ill. If I even see him I break out in a bad case of hives.
AquanTheDragon 5
Thank you for existing, Perdix. Just thank you.
Pendragon525 0
This is, sadly, not the first time I've heard of someone using that argument. I think it was posted on "Not Always Right" not too long ago.
ilmsmiss 1
This actually can be semi true. I have whats called Oral Allergy Syndrome... Im allergic to peanuts (and other fruits, vegies, and nuts) in their normal state but cooked or processed somehow and I'm fine. The same could go for him! Regular peanuts could swell his whole face up...but peanut butter goodness is fine.... look it up!
FYLDeep 26
So he wouldn't actually be allergic to the peanuts, but rather other allergens that the peanuts pick up which are then removed by processing? It sucks that you have this disorder. People must call bullshit on you all the time.
ilmsmiss 1
yup...thats why I said "semi"... it took me years to find out what it was (after seeing an allergist). When I met my bff in college, he had the same thing and never had a clue what it was called. I admit it sucks eating canned or cooked everything...and everyone looks at me like im nuts when I tell them this...
GADefence 2
Does not in any way apply to this - chunky and smooth peanut butter are the same, the question is only how much of a % of the peanutres are cruched making it. Basically, it's like you saying you're allergic to toast but not coutons (smaller pieces of toast) as chunky vs smooth PB is basically partially ground vs fully ground PB.
ilmsmiss 1
Nah...its more like I'm allergic to toast but not breadcrumbs..... Trust me it applies...I eat regular peanut butter all the time...but crunchy peanut butter rocks my socks....in the most negative way ever.
Blippety 23
Interesting, although I do think that you're over thinking and OP's father was most likely just an idiot.
zimgirl 18
same here
your_friend86 0
clearly your the wrong one in this argument.
Unlucky_Gun 0
How is OP the wrong one idiot?
abb3 0
well at least we know you don't have his stupidity gene
gurly98 13
U deserved it bitch
snipeshow 3
Enjoy your genetic gene pool
cwj 1
Go eat a dick for buying chunky. Your dad may be an idiot or maybe just a troll but YDI for buying chunky.
theghost1309 11
What's wrong with chunky peanut butter?
hateevryone 15
yeah, he's dumb