Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
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Top comments
Han1156 23
Father and son bonding.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
This is his idea of sex education?! Teens already have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like as it is and he puts on a porno to teach you the fundamentals of a sexual relationship! Then proceed to get an erection! Wow. What did he do next? Point to it and say "this is how you know you're ready for penetration, son" Your dad needs a slap. On the face. With a shovel. -___-
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Comments (188)
HopeEndlessly 6
I don't know the laws in Italy, but in the US that can constitute a criminal offense of sexual assault for unwanted sexual exposure.
Kimmy___888 8
Finally someone who mentions this! Regardless of laws though its still considered as sexual abuse.
Pyapi 20
Wait, maybe I have the wrong idea, but if by the law that is not considered sexual abuse then it is not sexual abuse in that country. It's not really "regardless of the law" because the law IS what constitutes it as sexual abuse or not, or am I mistaken?
ChakatBlackstar 29
More then my dad ever did. He still owes my first gf an apology.
Kimmy___888 8
This actually falls under sexual abuse.
revidffum69 22
I am as hard as a rock right now...
anon152 2
My kids got me reading fml's. I just created an account to respond to your post. It does not matter if you are a girl or a boy, you need to tell someone who will get you out of that situation. It is NOT ok to do what he did. He could be grooming you for worse. I guarantee he will do it again. Do not let him manipulate you to accept this. Please tell someone who will care and challenge him. My dad was a perv too. I kept it secret and it got worse and worse. Please take good care of yourself.
lininnes 6
Another great dad...
ulquiorra102 10
That right there? Definition of awkward.
Ziggy122 15
*Cleveland Brown voice* That's nasty.
revidffum69 22
I believe that was the only way your dad could teach you the birds and bees. Many people are embarrassed to talk to their kids about this stuff. My dad just left Playboys laying around. Lots of good info, by the way. Not just pics, but they sure do help!
vbmg152 19
OMG! I can't even imagine how that was for you! I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I'm at a loss for words!