Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
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Top comments
Han1156 23
Father and son bonding.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
This is his idea of sex education?! Teens already have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like as it is and he puts on a porno to teach you the fundamentals of a sexual relationship! Then proceed to get an erection! Wow. What did he do next? Point to it and say "this is how you know you're ready for penetration, son" Your dad needs a slap. On the face. With a shovel. -___-
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Comments (188)
OnyxChronic 9
Call the police on that pervert!
MDNative 6
what type of ****** up bonding..........
lentinese 4
lol
depocadoll 15
That is completely disgusting! Why would he think that would be okay? If your mother is in the picture I hope she ripped him a new one. If not, I'm so sorry this is your adult "role model". **** is NOT to be watched with your kids!
emmyrr 3
Lol wtf HAHAHAHA
alluringtatas 7
Yeah child services should probably be called. 1.)If you're under 18 it's illegal to watch pornography, so him showing it to you is sexual abuse (IF you're under 18) 2.)It is never ok to watch **** with your children, I don't care if your kid is 45. That's sick. What the actual heck??
annoyedchild 17
that is ****** up many different levels
kglo 7
OMG why didn't you just leave?
jramirez16 9
Seriously! That could ruin someone's sexual experiences!! You could never "unsee" your dads boner if you ever have!! Gross!!
Fmlreadermostly 20
That was how my mom "educated" me (yes I'm a girl) and my sister. Yeah the nuts are not all there. As soon as you can, get out of there. I hope he doesn't try and French you like my mom did to me. Ugh!
anon152 2
So sorry that happened to you