Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
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Top comments
Han1156 23
Father and son bonding.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
This is his idea of sex education?! Teens already have unrealistic expectations of what sex should be like as it is and he puts on a porno to teach you the fundamentals of a sexual relationship! Then proceed to get an erection! Wow. What did he do next? Point to it and say "this is how you know you're ready for penetration, son" Your dad needs a slap. On the face. With a shovel. -___-
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Comments (188)
emmingle 24
there's a fetish for that.
99megster 15
27) I don't think an 18 year old would be getting the sex talk
perdix 31
Is your dad Silvio Berlusconi? Bunga-bunga, right?
korikate 7
omg.
Ukeee_X 19
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
driinkbleach 18
Lol wow this is interesting one and the comments are funny but i bet comments will be deactivated in 3..2..1..
SirTalkaton 22
Gee thanks Pops!
Olympiakos10 15
Is your Dad Ron Jeremy?
tishtashbat 16
That actually made me incredibly uncomfortable just reading it, and that's before I got to the part about the erection, which I think might push it into actual sexual abuse...
worldclassrager 41
That's worse than ex Ed at school...honestly that's just not right..,
panda_lou 11
I'm a girl so obviously I don't have first hand experience with this but it is my understanding that men can not help it when they receive an erection. If you place something sexually stimulating in front of them their bodies react. Females being raped will sometimes ******. It's not that they enjoyed it but their body is reacting to stimuli. You can't be judged on that. Perhaps this father was very confused on a path to take when having the talk with his son. Perhaps the father based his own sex life off of **** like sex. It's a very common mistake especially with this generation. It was an unusual way to have the talk but unless the father exposed himself, made the son touch him or visa versa, made comments to draw attention to his erection, etc. then I don't see abuse, just a lack of common sense and a bad decision. The father could be well endowed and trying to hide the erection which I would imagine to be difficult to accomplish subtly. All we can do is speculate because we were not there.
jackaced 7
I hope everyone assumes I'm well-endowed when I get a nervous erection haha!
Pyapi 20
"Extreme fear can only elicit arousal in men and only in rare cases." Wow, there. There's always weird people around that like that stuff, women and men alike. Just like there's people that like S&M and other weird fetishes. How would you know that extreme fear only elicits arousal in men?
salsera13 7
The fact that you claim to be a welfare worker and yet believe what you typed here scares me a lot. You must know how wrong you are? Females will often become stimulated and yes even ****** during rape, because the physical expressions of fear and excitement are very similar. I found the comment you replied to to be very well worded and a good response
Kimmy___888 8
Actually it is considered sexual abuse. Forcing a minor to watch sexual acts of any kind is considered sexual abuse.
panda_lou 11
Well then I need to press charges on my school for showing me herpes invested vaginas and penis during sex Ed. That was def. against my will.
SilverInGray 25
97- there is a big difference between medical pictures and ****.
panda_lou 11
101- what if the medical pictures were used as masturbatory aid? Would that make it ****?
fml0505 22
Some people ********** to weird shit, but that wouldn't necessarily make it ****. To those people it could be considered that I guess. There are a lot of fetishes out there...
GlitterScribbles 9
Wow you're kind of an idiot. Many women HAVE had orgasms from being raped, simply due to the stimulation their bodies are receiving. Did they WANT the ******? No. Did it happen anyway? Yes. It often makes the women it happened to feel even more ashamed because their bodies betrayed them.
SilverInGray 25
140 - no. People ********** to pictures of cars, but that doesn't make it ****.
panda_lou 11
152 - who are you replying to? Cause I'm pretty sure I already said that.
panda_lou 11
So what makes one thing **** and another thing not? Just curious.