Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
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Top comments
yazmi_09 3
lol! why didn't you just put it in with your hand? or were you trying to floss?
Mirorbo 27
Don't. Put. The. Money. In. Your. Mouth!! This is twice this week I've had to say this! Club Etiquette 101 people! It's rude and unsanitary.
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Comments (132)
vinylcat 0
DO NOT **** with a stripper and her potential money weather you mean it or not, retard.
Betz 10
^whether
bri_random 0
didn't they ever teach you to never go near any part of s stripper's body with your mouth in school? that's a surefire way to get cooties. ydi. :)
XbambiX 3
when she said that I wuda took back the dollar
ArthursLifeSucks 2
I have to say kudos for the OP taking a swing at putting the money in the thong with his mouth on the very first time to a club. Takes some courage to dive in head first ;)
ChristyCarnegie 0
Hahaha loser :)
nerdsgetmehot 23
Don't try to put it in with your mouth next time! Just put it in her thong with your HAND and be done with it. :P
chico561 0
stupid ass
Zebidee 9
Huh. A stripper whose etiquette isn't up to scratch. I can certainly see why you'd have been shocked.
pcakewafflebacon 0
strippers aren't human beings
shona_fml 0
ummmm f off buddy. yes, we are. we are NOT machines!!
GottaLoveFML95 0
Ok what i want to know, is ur cousin a boy or a girl and the same goes with his/her fiance