Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML
Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML
Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML
Today, to celebrate my older sister's 21st birthday, my parents forced me to take the night off work so we could all go to the casino. Not only is this coming out of my vacation, I wasn't old enough to enter the casino, so I had to sit in the car. FML
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML
Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
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Top comments
BIEBERSLAYER 10
please tell me you didn't get a lap dance from her.
HahaYDI 0
Did you get some sort of family discount?
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Comments (377)
RULA39 4
that sux bro
LuHGiiiT 11
How is she paying for it?
marmlr339 14
hope you didn't add that image to the wank bank!
Keyman1212 14
The real questions are, was she good? And did you tip her well?
sephoraprincess 7
oh dear, did she see you?
LuHGiiiT 11
Good job, 26.. I'm glad you found the sarcasm in my comment
jeffav51 0
how???
jeffav51 0
37 you are my idol:) many people don't understand the simple concept of sarcasm.
LuHGiiiT 11
I know.. Nigga be trollin'
Jacobt24 19
I had to use the Hubble telescope to detect that sarcasm. You could make it more obvious by capitalizing "is" or something, but either way it was lame
Iamnotmyself 17
At least you can take comfort in that, at least your sister is hot... Unless you went to a chubby bar.
LuHGiiiT 11
I'm guessing you borrowed the telescope that your girlfriend uses to look at your.. Well, you get the point..
jeffav51 0
nice 69 nice! that just made my day:)
flockz 20
your day must of really sucked then. good luck with the rest of your week.
LuHGiiiT 11
Anytime, but of course I keed, I keed..
Jacobt24 19
Yes she uses it to look at my brain because of how retarded I am
jeffav51 0
75 it is, and it's 1:12 so it can only get better:) anyways thank you:) have a great week bud:)
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
looks like we got a bromance going on. lol jk seriously though I don't see why people take everything up the ass on here. it's an app about funny things, why do you expect everyone to be so serious all the time?! some people...
LuHGiiiT 11
91 - You too brohaa..
arlekin21 0
well did she give you a discount or a free lap dance??
Jacobt24 19
LuHGiiiT, I find it kind of odd that your favorite people on FML are the 2 people that have praised your comments on this post. -_- But anyways I care SO much about this that I have to keep dragging it out until the end of time for my life to be complete. (That's sarcasm. I really dont care at all and I'm gonna go ice the burn you gave me)
anorexicbarbie 8
37 It's not that we can't detect sarcasm, it's just you suck at being "sarcastic". Just admit it, you posted a stupid comment and you're trying to cover it up by saying "it was sarcasm herp derp". Stop trying.
Jacobt24 19
*sigh* please re-read my last sentence again. I know it's all in good fun. I'm not gonna cry because of some comment over the Internet. How silly would that be? XD
a_nutritionist 10
the only people who were sure it was sarcasm are those who dont realise people exist who are stupid enough to ask questions like that...or are one themselves.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Just doing our part to pick the weeds from society.
TN9R 1
Don't touch any money she gives you, you never know where it came from
saaaalt 4
can you guys chill TF out. I friggen forgot wth the FML was because of all of you bitching about sarcasm -.-
LuHGiiiT 11
agreed^
WeemanIsBack 3
I wonder if LuhGiiT's profile pic is a sarcasm for Justin Bieber or does he really look like that irl?
dolphincheddar 10
177. he is what we modern people like to call "a douchebag"
mckinneymacy 2
dude your really gay.
mckinneymacy 2
dude your really gay.
TattedUP89 0
ew typical hick statement
TattedUP89 0
that at 28
ImanAzol 4
Could be worse. Could have found her in some **** online.
AnonymousTroll 2
Finally, the rage wars are over...
Gianca1208 4
Can't we all just get along?
musicchick1712 0
make peace and/or babies
fckdupzf 0
that would have been totally embarrassing!
toastyjustice 5
37 that was a terrible use of sarcasm
UnicornHunter 12
This. Was she good?
scrapmetal58 9
I bet all his buddies added it to their wank bank though.
theaws0m3guy 4
Well she must be hot...
DaslovesTrack 2
all of these comments are dumb but 27 hahaha :)
modernknight 0
190 - that will be for the OPs next birthday, I am sure.
bambiez 5
blackmail her now lol be like do my chores and homework or mom and dad find out about a secret of where u work...;) lol
zah_ali 3
lol, glad I wasn't the only one!
SkyeEatsAirplane 5
bummer
marmots 0
That's awkward
DropDead77 11
very..
flockz 20
especially since now u know what all your friends will be jerking to later...
apv0222 0
I say blackmail her and get your self a car too
morganrules123 10
I could never look one of my friends in the eye after seeing them make it rain on my sister.
ImaWiseGuy 5
2, that's a huge understatement buddy...
KendalKeller 3
uh i was going to say that but you beat me to it.
hubla 0
op: there little sexy what's your name *stripper turns around* op:JULIE!!?!? ops friends : nnniiicccceee
Jacobt24 19
Julie's my sister's name. . . Oh god
justanothagirl 0
128- haha :)
XXscenekidXX209 0
hahaha nice @136 xD u made m day
duhhitscolin 7
to both the brother and the sister. not so for the friends I think...
0utlawed 0
did she give you a free lap dance?
Tektite 14
LOL... Welllll... Wouldn't Mom and Dad be proud xD
sskarma23 9
maybe this is a sign that you need to help out your sister financially... unless that is her life choice in which case don't go to that strip club again
bhawks8188 0
How is she paying for the car?
Jdimp 1
lmfao
dannyboy66 7
i guess it turned into a surprise party
emilymelizabeth 11
that super sucks...
RacistPancake 6
Family discount?
kaegomay12 17
that is probs how it happened
BIEBERSLAYER 10
please tell me you didn't get a lap dance from her.
texaslonghorn 0
please tell me you did...
Ch0sen 13
It sucks because your boner gets confused and enters into this state of not-quite-hard-but-almost.
captainsuperdawg 0
he might have if she offers a family discount
tsim_fml 0
88- surpisingly that happens to me whenever I watch the Disney Channel :/
smellymellyy 7
you sick sick man..
KendalKeller 3
88 seems like you've been there before?
ShawnzieNstuff 6
nah OP is from Maine, not Mississippi.
joker1995 2
He better have. She needs the money for her car payments.
Opium_Production 5
Did you get a free dance? What about free drinks?
ThorneCrossed 9
don't worry about it
TheHoboWerewolf 0
Oh he did. And he enjoyed every moment of it.
SnailFist 5
Incest, a game the whole family can play!
Coolbreezer 0
lol. accccckward. I can see it now. sis can you break a 20?
kyleh34 5
lol
cameron194 9
future pedo right here!
pandanomical 0
lol awkward
lostinconformity 0
the economy is that bad apparently
Awahso 25
Pssh. In a good ecomomy strippers would make more because drunk men have more cash to throw away.
IWarnedYou 0
I just want to know how his friends reacted.
a_nutritionist 10
@83 they ribbed him about it jokingly while mentally noting that his sister is probably an easy lay with skills in the bedroom that she most likely doesnt possess, and to be extra nice to her in future. i assume this is what the average idiot who attends strip clubs would think.
FelixIsaac 0
Winfrey?
Skills69 0
what strip club exactly...
Deeznutzhairy 7
The same one I work at ;)
iAmScrubs 19
The Spicy Beef Taco Strip Club.
XXscenekidXX209 0
hahaha
Parazad 16
Did your sister see you?
teague95 16
better question, Did he tip her?
Perdition 4
Even better: Did she see OP's tip?
freddyisepic 2
did you stuff money down her panties?
rayrayray23 1
did you?
FML_14u2c 14
Not panties, g-strings, LOL!
omgwtfbbq69 5
awk...
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
...ward