Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, my mom was out of the house, so I decided to make her a gift. I went into the garage for supplies and somehow ended up locking myself in for the next 2 hours. Not only that, but I cut my hand with the rusty paperclip I used to try to pick the lock. FML
Today, I was doing laundry, and decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML
Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML
Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML
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Top comments
Dean__Winchester 16
1. That's messed up 2. Google how to escape
1dvs_bstd 41
Some parents... how the **** are you supposed to know the problem? how in the blue hell are you supposed to fix it? She wants to turn you into an emergency plumber?.. wickedness. At least did she give you a 3D printer to print out the required tools?
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Comments (142)
Mightyrif 23
I think I've read a book about crazy mums like this.
Gillett 23
Yeah " Mommy Dearest".
mrmcleod 29
"NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!"
MrsDruidess 23
whats crazy is he has a phone with Internet and hasnt yet called a repair man. . . that would have been my first move
KainMoogle 21
112, why? so their mom can force them to pay for it?
Bigfabthetruth52 22
The child called IT
apitrix 24
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!
Puffpie 24
Oh that's awful! I hope you're ok Op!
wtffml1979 22
That is awful. I'm thankful I've never had to deal with things like that. I mean we weren't the Brady bunch but never had to deal with that. We don't realize what other have to go through behind closed doors.
Dean__Winchester 16
1. That's messed up 2. Google how to escape
BoyWhoCriedwoof 5
It would still take days to print the tools lol
1dvs_bstd 41
Some parents... how the **** are you supposed to know the problem? how in the blue hell are you supposed to fix it? She wants to turn you into an emergency plumber?.. wickedness. At least did she give you a 3D printer to print out the required tools?
mellajella 14
Kind of reminds me of when I was an undergrad in engineering. Every time something was broken, everyone said " you're the engineer, you fix it." Yeah, my first class was oven repair 101.
SweetasCandy0609 28
You are not the handyman and that's who she needs to call because of you don't fix it right then she's just going to get mad at you. good luck OP
kent123654 14
That sucks, hopefully she'll be reasonable soon. If not, maybe you could try calling someone who does know how to fix the hot water heater. Good luck!
coolster5000 22
My thought was that he should call someone to get him out of the basement first
ninjahesten 18
like the police, fire dep., seach and rescue team or dial random number and whisp "heelp my mom locked me in the basement" just some suggestions :)
drayloon 50
Sounds like she needs to cool down a bit instead...
EclipseCandy6 24
Take the hinges off and throw the door down the stairs
ParisSosa 11
Should have just done it instead of saying you couldn't.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Yeah because everybody in the world can fix a water heater, I guess you can do it too, right? -.-
amberv61 22
You know there is usually a reason why people say they can't do things. It's because they can't. Just fixing the water heater won't work because he knows nothing about it. They'll probably end up making the problem worse rather than fixing it
hammonds92 21
She sounds like a super b*tch