Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML
Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML
Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML
Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML
Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML
Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
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Top comments
jainam 7
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
feven 32
Maybe Shrek is trying to tell you something
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Comments (98)
teentee401 37
Better check yourself before you Shrek yourself...
TheGatekeeper43 8
It was meant to be
sprout_08 12
Haha
ARetardedSeal 24
Did he whisper into your ear saying "this is my swamp"
AliLikesApples 14
No, but he kept screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!!!!"
friedpwnadge 25
hahahahahahahhahaha your life sucks op
NeoMatrix25 12
I'm gonna guess Shawshank Redemption. I seem to recall a big green ogre in that movie.
ShadowlessSpear 21
He'd do it for Shrek.
ThatDamHuntress 20
At least it wasn't Sherk ****.
150493x 29
You beat me to it. Damn.
Steve95401 49
Or My Little Pony ****.
Aspyr 10
I watched the ending of that movie last night
Cebolamole 13
It's never ogre.