Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
horneyhic 15
So "help" him get it back
TanzWolf 26
Better then most girls, others would have posted an FML saying "Today, a really hot guy I was getting to second base with said my boobs were "soft like cake". FML"
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Comments (85)
horneyhic 15
So "help" him get it back
Sports_guy3 28
#1- Your name fits your comment perfectly
tooyoungtooold 11
And Wingman of the Year Award goes to...
beserker81 12
You have to admit the guy is ******* hilarious
cmchappy 25
Maybe make it up to him by wearing whipped cream next time
creativityisnt 19
What was he expecting?
PennyLane27 32
Cupcakes?
doctorhook86 25
#2: That she wouldn't embarrass him during sex.
Stazza11 27
47, if you refer to someone's ******* as soft cake in or out of the bedroom prepare to be laughed at.
nchic01 17
angel food cake?
TanzWolf 26
Better then most girls, others would have posted an FML saying "Today, a really hot guy I was getting to second base with said my boobs were "soft like cake". FML"
MattM95 16
But who doesn't like cake?
Enslaved 38
Or Today a hot guy saw my teeny tiny boobs and said they were "flat like pancakes". FML
caleb_9756 14
I want to hear the FML in the guy's place. Today, I was getting to second base with a girl, and I said her boobs were "soft like cake". She started laughing, and I got so embarrassed I lost my boner. FML
DenverTyrrell 13
Ha ha ha if I had boobs and somebody said that I would laugh! Btw there are things you can do that can "help" him with that situation :)
poronator 3
You're too young for this.
MrConcise 35
He's 15, what planet do you live on?
PennyLane27 32
"You're too young for this" says "pornonator"....
TanzWolf 26
It's poronator, moron.
randomguy236 3
It's still young ... shld focus on his studies...!!! :-D
ztress 10
He looks like 8
caleb_9756 14
#59, In what ******* world do you live in where eight year olds look like that?
kittyfrozen 19
i keep thinking that you are a girl until i clicked into your picture and realized that... sorry :/
Mauskau 36
It's the placement of what looks like a picture frame, looks like a cute little bob :3
BadApple88 29
It's not like he won't ever get another boner...
doctorhook86 25
#7: I dunno what medical school you graduated from, but it's a Commonly Known Fact(TM) that men only get a certain number of erections in their life, and every time the use one without ******, that erection is lost forever. This is the male equivalent of a woman's "biological (fertility) clock", and is also the reason why older men can't get erections without drugs--they used up all their boners. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
BadApple88 29
So what you're telling me is, if they attempt to have sex another day he won't get a boner? Oh. -_-
syed121417 22
Yes but, he's obviously going to get another boner at some point. Yes, men have a limited number of erections but I doubt that was his last one?
waroftheroses 16
wow...really #56?? No words can explain.
mafuyu_fml 10
@56, You actually thought what he wrote about limited erections was... true? Please, do not share this wisdom with your friends. Also, the correct medical condition is called "Erectile Dysfunction" in case you want to look up the reason why men resort to taking viagra. Not all men, old or young, have to take viagra.
hduebdo 14
You have reached a new level of stupidity.
RoboCunnilingus 23
I dislike using the word stupid on people so instead I'll say, "This thread is stupid".
Unlovable_Me 14
He want that cake cake cake cake cake cake.
woainishamu 21
Serve him some cake.
Ichiya 29
The cake is a lie!
amandathecreator 22
Did you ask him what kind of cake?
TheGolfGTI 24
I would have thought it was very sweet of him.
Acacia21 23
As sweet as the cake?
quickit 24
I agree. It's nice being able to laugh with someone during intimate moments like that.
MsKatieFace 11
Laugh with yes, but it seems more he felt she was laughing at him or he probably wouldn't have been embarrassed.
razoray9 22
Sweeter. Like chocolate cake #26