Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room… where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML
Today, in a drunken, depressed state I thought I heard my deceased mother trying to make contact with me from beyond the grave. It took me a moment to realise that the soft voice was from the music my neighbours were playing. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
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Top comments
ifuckmonsters 5
Maybe Cartman was trying to connect with you spiritually.
MSheary1993 1
Screw you guys I'm going home to meditate. Oh wait...
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Comments (161)
ifuckmonsters 5
Maybe Cartman was trying to connect with you spiritually.
AnonymousTroll 2
Maybe the spirits were trying to inform you that Kenny died.
bagleface 6
It would have been. Kenny as he's dead
StoryOfTheYear 15
Damn PSPs.
number0 8
Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
bmboente15 0
Those bastards!
KennyMcCrmick322 0
27- how'd u know??
nixter5 18
Thuck ma bawls!!
imthatguythatdid 0
How do i reech deese keeeeds?.....
Drummerboy1234 0
Bill Beeeeeeelicheck
savage93 11
Going down to south park gonna have myself a time...
zkcupcake 4
Wow... Well I guess south park is some what profound
evilplatypus 39
South Park is very profound. It has humor at every level from potty to deeply thoughtful satire on the human condition that would make Jonathan Swift proud.
z620 0
Didn't know they had southpark in Estonia
xlord 27
I always thought that watching south park was a profound experience.
amanda_d95 9
It's a very high brow show, quite classy
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Indeed, I find it to be both spiritually and mentally fulfilling lol
MSheary1993 1
Screw you guys I'm going home to meditate. Oh wait...
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
South Park is magical though
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Hell yeh it is!!
Llama_Face89 34
82- but he ISN'T alive...
Liimitless 6
"screw you guys, I'm going home."
cosmosis 12
Thank **** for that!!
Liimitless 6
Had to be done
graham11 14
too bad someone already posted that same comment..
Isaac_The_Man 0
Thanks for the quote, don't give a shit though(:
mason_sweat 0
I accidentally thumbed up your comment, so sorry. If given the chance I would thumb it down five times.
Babydoll4ever 7
^I'll thumb it down for you.:)
Justin23L 2
Why do people think that they're in some magical state while meditating? My dad thinks he can hear angels when he does...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Because they can be. That's kind of the point of meditation - bringing yourself to another level, a higher state of mind.
cosmosis 12
Is that before or after eating the magic mushrooms?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
States of mind achieved through sober meditation, and those induced by drugs are two completely different experiences, both amazing in their own right. They are complementary though. Through the use of drugs, you can gain a whole new appreciation of a sober state.
Shadow_Phantom 26
If he's hearing angels, that's a bad thing. They bring nothing but trouble. Also, uh, yeah. Meditating puts you on a higher psychic level. I talk to my guardians all the time.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I find it funny how my thumbs up/down keep fluctuating between positive and negative numbers. I suppose people stand divided in their views about this.
head2133 12
64, people like you are annoying to everyone but yourselves and others like you. Believe it or not we dont give a shit about your "guardians" or your "angels" or even your "demons". Sincerely, The Majority of the World
Justin23L 2
Maybe I'm not trying it right but meditating just makes me relaxed. I dont have revelations or anything...
Shadow_Phantom 26
You say that now. Try saying that a year from now.
cBlackout 13
111, no. In a year you will still be psychotic. So don't get your hopes up.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
You sound a bit misguided, 64. Angels can't bring trouble if they don't exist.
builditbetter09 3
You have fun with your donkey horse thingy worshiping 111 :)
niznor99 6
Coming from the satanist.......angels have always been cool to me.
head2133 12
111, i can guarantee that a year from now nothing that i said will have changed and you will still be annoying to pretty much everybody unless you start acting like a normal person, which i hope you do. The world allready has enough of people like you.
shadexilmaendu 4
Oh, and what do you contribute except for a bad attitude?
silentbutfunny 0
111, can i ask why your satanic? Can i please hear a reason?
SBurrke 11
Many things that don't exist bring trouble anyway.
SBurrke 11
Many things that don't exist bring trouble anyway.
WCARlover 35
Haha close...
redbluegreen 41
It's funnier in Enochian.
Baytheshark 14
I didn't find this that funny actually...
chelseaaababyyy 17
i might get thumbed down for this but is that a supernatural reference ? if not, sorry for sounding like a weirdo(:
Justin23L 2
I'm not smart enough to understand this referece :(
cr3ativity 15
South Park is somewhat profound. It addresses current topics and puts a funny twist to things.