Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, I stayed late at the office to finish work and thought I was alone. I put on my headphones and started singing along to Sabrina Carpenter at full volume while filing paperwork. Halfway through, I turned around to see our cleaning staff staring at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I was working overnight with a handful of coworkers, one who has a reputation for being very quiet. He and I were alone when he suddenly burst into a beautiful folk song. When I told the others what happened, he pretended he didn't know what I was talking about, and now they think I'm nuts. FML
Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML
Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Next week finish your work twice as fast and start singing rebecca black songs, throwing scissors at him and wrapping him in cling film.
HentaiBunny 4
Cheesy tv sitcom... COMMENCE!!
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Comments (121)
CiaranPM 0
Sounds like a cool guy.
Keyman1212 14
Sounds like the guys who have the Catalina Wine Mixer each year(can't remember the name of the company). They're super douche lords who would do this kind of shit.
monkeys1315 0
It's better then having to work alone and be bored and lonely
gojira666 7
That sucks....disney songs are catchy as ****
abbyelizabeth 9
Quit being such a hard-ass and have a little fun. Geesh.
fatgirllovesfml 0
Ugh Disney songs sucks! I petty you ;(
bubble25_fml 5
Sounds like something I would do >:)
Damn_Hippster 11
Man, that would be so fun!! What are you complaining about?
RobinKCS 9
What does OP mean?
farhil 14
Original Poster Dont be thumbs down the guy, we were all new once
GardeningHoes 0
-52 Are you saying you're not new? Also, how do make post?
bitchesbecrazy2 4
16- yeah.... you and your bio remind me a lot of one of those conceded douches your talking about..... can't quite put my finger on why though..... hmmmmmm......
nerdfighteria 7
52- And yet, there's this thing called "Google". It's so that we can look stuff up and not look like an idiot. It's pretty cool, actually.
Rickilynn1 10
16 - step brothers. Brennan and Derek Huff. Get it right.
Finn_the_human 5
That's how stapler fights get started.
tatababe 1
Can I join
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
It could be worse OP, your brother could be like my 16 year old one and have a obsession with Dragon Ball Z and watch it all day at high volume.
enonymous 9
16 & 77 - IT'S THE MOTHER ******* CATALINA WINE MIXER
Deathhound 27
Haha, give it back to him!
eraintime 0
Second. Fyl
HentaiBunny 4
Cheesy tv sitcom... COMMENCE!!
Fruit_Dealer 9
How I Killed My Brother, coming this fall.
audiophileMom 11
That does sound like an okay setup indeed! Good thinking.
EnEl_Infierno 15
What? Pizza! no, k then bye....
SA23 0
Hey just want to say your really beautiful :)
jillianmathers12 13
Why do you think she is beautiful? Because she has fake boobs?
michael666 7
god your hot.
ollie179 21
Next week finish your work twice as fast and start singing rebecca black songs, throwing scissors at him and wrapping him in cling film.
6joe9 0
Or just simply KILL HIM :p
deathtrap 0
Duct tape him to the ceiling. It may require the help of several of your friends but it can be done
raaawwwrrZ 8
Get biblical. Nail him to a couple of 2 by 4's
Saltime 0
Nails and 2 by 4s are not part of an everyday office supply...
ProhibitionRose 14
Rebecca Black has more than one song?!
twinny_sc 13
How lucky.
mynameis1339 0
That sucks
saintdalman 4
Duct tape him to an office chair.
noboundary 9
And put his office supplies in jello :]
imaninja1 9
Winn^^
uprising_fml 0
when he's in the bathroom, walk in on him when his pants are down and wrap duck tape on his pubes.
_Oblivion_ 12
can someone remove this comment, its utterly disgusting and unnessesary
nerdfighteria 7
48- You must be new.
_Oblivion_ 12
wut kind of dumbass would say that when i have over a 100 comments
Shrike 24
well what kind of dumbass would have the stone balls to ask the admins to remove an innocuous comment? though I believe nerdfighteria meant to say "you must be mentally retarded if you think anyone would find you funny"
_Oblivion_ 12
how is that funny at all
Shrike 24
no one SAID it was funny, doesn't mean it'll get removed just because it didn't make you laugh, moron. if all stupid comments got removed, your comment count would probably be 0
_Oblivion_ 12
Alright then, asshole, I was asking* for it to be removed. Obviously that was hilarious to you because your defending it and being such a ******** to try and fight me about asking* for the removal. I can give two ***** if it does or not and I dont need the commentary of you or anyone else.
Shrike 24
too bad. say/ask something stupid, reap the consequences. if you don't want the commentary, then next time just shut your mouth, yeah?
HomeAl0ne 20
#48 I agree that your comment is disgusting and unnecessary, so I thumbed it down one more time and now it's gone, just like you requested. However, it might be more efficient if you don't post stupid stuff in the first place.
_Oblivion_ 12
this guy thinks hes funny shit
Sirin_fml 47
What a coincidence. I think he is funny shit too!
_Oblivion_ 12
sigh
mk58 31
The perfect ending to this conflict.
Pebbles89 9
OMG I wish I could like your comment a thousand times!! I think I love you lol!!!! THUMBS UPx100000000000000
Pebbles89 9
that was meant for #83 lol. also I thumbed down oblivion's last comment and cuz of me, its burrito!! oops I meant *buried haha
syfool 4
Your brother is awesome
KiddNYC1O 22
Damn, it's Kenny from The Challenge.
deathtrap 0
Lmao looks like him
koolkat27 13
78- you took the words right out of my mouth!!
Tran4369 4
Give him a hot Carl (look it up in urban dictionary)
ihavenosoul 4
I have to use urban dictionary to learn slang to try to make people think I'm funny too... :P