Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Don't hate the player…
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
Driver 8
Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML
Mixed signals
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
Breakout
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
The hustler
Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML
Classy.
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Top comments
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Eeeewwwwwwwww
rachelottavia 16
I hope you didn't say yes!
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Comments (168)
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Are you SURE he had a date that evening?
Sionnach 10
Practice... riiiiigggghhhht...
Ironic_Meme 10
Kentucky, that explains it.
randomgirl1234 20
well if he incests...
Tsukiyomi 16
I think your brother has been watching too much No Game No Life, OP
Knightchaser27 25
Or game of thrones
jennlody 28
I've seen an FML like this :/ is it just me or has this been happening a lot recently?
skyeyez9 25
OP's username pretty much sums up this fml.
Hasselhoffart 15
Incest is wincest
people_annoy_me 23
Well if it's for $20...
Niedermayer_20 12
Show me the money!