Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, my date escaped through a second-storey bathroom window before our drinks even arrived. She later texted me that it wasn’t my fault, I just reminded her too much of her father, even though I’m two years younger than her and look nothing like the photos I've seen of him. FML
Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
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Top comments
D-MacOPsquad 15
Oh hey Tim what are you doing at my ho- What The **** Tim!
PossiblyInDanger 24
There could be worse ways for your brother to find out.
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Comments (17)
D-MacOPsquad 15
Oh hey Tim what are you doing at my ho- What The **** Tim!
liisiuu 23
Almost ?
PossiblyInDanger 24
There could be worse ways for your brother to find out.
D-MacOPsquad 15
like a positive pregnancy test
D-MacOPsquad 15
like a positive pregnancy test
D-MacOPsquad 15
like a positive pregnancy test
RichardPencil 32
It’s good to have a wingman!
olga_crvjl 19
Ohh no lol how did your brother react to him being in the first place lol
liisiuu 23
He was more amused by the fact that I managed to broke the key and was panicking than his friend being in the room with me :D
Lobby_Bee 18
Things are going to get awkward after trying to **** a buddy's sister. I know that feeling.
liisiuu 23
He actually was too scared to talk to me after that for a few weeks cause he thought he's gonna be a dead man :D
Lobby_Bee 18
Hahahhaha silly boy. It's not talking to you that's going to get him killed, it's trying to get into your pants, which he is already guilty of. Talking to you won't change a damn thing if your brother wants to slit his throat.
lexos 16
He doesn't follow the bro code, never ever date a sister or brother of your friends
liisiuu 23
Neither of us knew that at the beginning, that came out later. Both of us were thinking 'oh crap that's not good' but didn't say anything
Demetrix 3
OR it was all a clever ruse to sleep with your older brother.
ski8um 3
Umm, doors lock from the outside with a key, not the inside.
liisiuu 23
Not all doors. For example, my front door locks only from the outside with the key, but every other door in the house locks with a key from both sides.