Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, my mom forced me to take a drug test while she watched. I couldn’t do it due to nerves, so she grounded me because, "there's no way I would be nervous unless I was doing drugs." Nope, just a shy bladder. FML
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tripartita 45
That is no laughing matter, OP! Discrimination based age, race, gender, or disability—including shy bladder—is not funny. If you or a loved one are on the receiving end of shy bladder discrimination, call our hotline at 1-800-PIS-DOFF and know that you are NOT alone!
Enkeria 30
That's awful OP! Having a shy bladder is common. I have a shy bladder. Try and see if you can apply for the job again and then drink plenty of water before the test, but not too much so you don't ruin the test. I did that for my current job and it helped a lot. Hope this helps! :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (23)
Enkeria 30
That's awful OP! Having a shy bladder is common. I have a shy bladder. Try and see if you can apply for the job again and then drink plenty of water before the test, but not too much so you don't ruin the test. I did that for my current job and it helped a lot. Hope this helps! :)
Tripartita 45
That is no laughing matter, OP! Discrimination based age, race, gender, or disability—including shy bladder—is not funny. If you or a loved one are on the receiving end of shy bladder discrimination, call our hotline at 1-800-PIS-DOFF and know that you are NOT alone!
Welshite 40
Please help, Tripartita. My bladder is so shy it faints when it sees itself in a mirror. People laugh and call it fat when they see it, and it cries at night huddled in a little ball. You are my only hope.
socialproduct 19
I can't help but read your bladder "cries at night" as a potential bed wetting problem.
spicyburrito 18
You must be really pissed off
mike307 11
You're not alone. Many have fallen victim with this issue. Some have lost their freedom because of it.
toddlerteacher 6
I too have a shy bladder. I've avoided applying for certain jobs in the past because of it. It's funny because I am drug and alcohol free, I'd have to TAKE drugs in order to take the test.
mineminemineno 4
Sounds like a ......pissy situation.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
The opposite actually.
warmonger711 8
Learn to pee in front of other people and study for said examinations withloads of water before hand
mariri9206 32
There are other ways to take a drug test. For one of my past jobs, I had to take one but they do it on the spot and they had, like, a pen kind of that can test for drugs with your saliva and give instant results. Maybe see if they can use that instead? Just make sure you haven't chewed any gum before you take it, if they allow it, cause that can alter the results.
iapex 18
I've had this issue with my drug tests as well. Except they gave me a second chance to try it and if I failed to produce with that one then I would've been marked non-compliant. I'm surprised they didn't allow you to do the same.
edris_305 21
Couldnt they give you like a few more glasses of water just to finish the job