Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
ma77 9
I agree.
xlord 27
If he has that much money to throw around tell him to just buy a girlfriend.....
llamafish 25
Or rent one.
Rei_Ayanami 18
I agree, it is a bit too far out there, even for the French.
Jonkbaby 23
i say old chap that quite literally sucks
lizbeth1011 3
Or a hooker
rino1 2
How far would 100 euros got him?
newmandotcom 6
#90 she might have gone all the way for 100.....
lopsop 12
Pull a secret service and refuse to pay
WaylonD 4
How do you know op os not his brother? 0_o
metalwolf 17
Just guessing here, but it might be because it says woman next to OPs name.
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
In situations like this it's better to be the unhelpful sister.
xCrazyMexican 4
How much American money is 50£
DanielZVans 5
Use a vaccum cleaner and some water lol
RadikulRam 16
#175 OP said Euro, you used the Great British Pound sign (£), you were looking for the Euro sign (€ - Ctrl + Alt + 4 - for me.) That said 50 Euros as of now is worth 65.65USD (65 bucks and 65 cents). Btw you could have Google'd it.
doctorhook86 25
175: Today 50 Euros is about $66 American. (No comment on the fact that you asked about 50 Pounds...) So the OP gave her brother a hickey for $66... At that rate 75€ should get him boob.
doctorhook86 25
Ninja'd. :/
xCrazyMexican 4
Thanks 182 & 184
LolFMLnot 10
That is just gross, hickey is a symbol of sexual/romantic contact between two people and getting that from your sister is disgusting. He should've payed someone else to do it
KeyboardWarrior 10
I don't know what's worse; the fact that he payed her to do it, or that fact that she was actually GOING to do it.
tjv3 10
Well the say "Incest is best ask your sister and she' ll do the rest" Wasn't it creepy sucking on your brother's neck? You two probably traumatized your parents for life
alychick 5
Agreed
DespairFaction 11
Wouldn't a vacuum work? Oh looks like its already been said.
heatherleeann17 0
Think about that a vacuum would form a perfect circle... You'd be able to tell its fake.
33loveyou 2
133- because he said OUR parents
Elfkid21 19
WORD!!
plum_lovin 28
First: that's disturbing, second: he should of payed someone else OTHER THAN HIS SISTER, and third: if my brother ever asked that, I would take the money, punch him in the face for asking and do the "pinch and twist (fake hickey)" that the desperate retards used to do in elementary. Problem solved.
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
ladyangel52 11
Incest is the best, put your sister to the test! :D
ant1078 7
Europeans are freakkkky!
Heinousness 0
That's probably all that is needed to hear, 2
Eila1996 5
I moderated this!
biggestfan23 11
I wanna know what OP's parents said lol
LoganBurrito 6
8, I love you.
ihatethesenamez 6
At least he didn't want lipstick around his waist
lebronesque73091 12
Remind me, at what point did you think that was a good idea?
a_purple_orange 4
That's when you say "he's paying me €50!" and run out crying
Irinaaa 0
Next time just hand him the vaccume..
BH1126 11
Thought the same damn thing!
bwinski 19
Did she put some lipstick on your dipstick too? #wincest
ohSNAPyall 27
167 so your brother used you as a prostitute?
ladyangel52 11
@136, love you too, man
a_purple_orange 4
319, when you reply to someone else's comment, it's usually helpful to read the FML first
MDM15 5
Awkward family situation that one...definitely deserved it though
ClassyCommando 13
Should have just used a vacuum cleaner. It actually works really well if you use the right nozzle.
AFCA020 4
Hmmmm... A prostitute daughter and a pimp son.. First class parenting.
MattZAX 9
Well they ARE French
UmBongos 3
Know that from personal experience?
alychick 5
Hhh
Guren 0
You must have really liked your brothers neck to suck him off...I mean give him a hickie
jerseyboy732 16
wincest
jerseyboy732 16
and you know damn well OPs brother was enjoying it
tr0llz0r 0
Well, it's because of the rebel flag picture. Kinda fits.
Marcella1016 32
I'll probably be thumbed down for this, but sucking on someone's neck is not sexual if you're not attracted to them. Would a guy say he got to second base with a bully after the bully twisted his nipples to give him a "purple nurple"? The FML here would be the parents walking in, or OP actually taking 50 Euros to do that. But I wouldn't call it incest. I'd say the brother is definitely a desperate loser, though lol. That's pretty wack to feel the need to impress your "friends" that bad.
thebeautybleeds 17
You know what they say... Vice is nice, but incest is the best.
erikog78 2
F confederate flags. Bigotry is for the ignorant.
llamafish 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Incest is fun for the whole family! They should have joined you.
Tswift0806 3
You have something wrong with your mind. You might want to go get that checked.
jannielovesjack 0
She was obviously joking while using sarcasm.
HairyPunisher 27
Yeah Tswift. Llama cracked a really really REALLY bad joke but it was clearly sarcastic, she wasn't serious.
klrfish1968 0
Hahahahahahahahahahahha
llamafish 25
55 - I am legitimately schizophrenic, so be quiet. I made a joke, not to be taken seriously. We can't all be funny all the time.
DespairFaction 11
I don't think that was serious. Hope not anyway.
trivel64 16
CUE THE FANFICTIONS
pdp_fml 21
Incest anyone? You deserve it for trying to help your brother. There are some things that a brother and a sister should not do and you stumbled upon one of them.
Anthony94_fml 7
Killer shades man.
luckyd880 12
I think the most important questions here is where did he want the hickey? Lol.
kiki122012 5
215- that's what I was thinking as I read the FML. Lol this one made me laugh.
Eells92 7
To fake his relationship duh.
nirvi 3
294- pls tell me you know the difference between where and why.
boomsl4ng 11
I wonder what they said! Btw 50€ for a hickey... You can probably make a living with that... Just make sure he stays single for a long time! :)
Heinousness 0
I couldn't help but notice you are portugal(unless your profile is wrong). Do you know how much 50 euros is in US dollars? I'm American.
theunwiseone 4
Google is not just for ****
Conasaur 8
$65.73 your welcome.
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
Easy A.
Azail 15
Speaking of ignorant it might help if you learn to spell know. Next time think before commenting dumbass. Also it's can't not keep.
Battle_Waffle 4
50 euros is around 100 us dolars
MerrikBarbarian 9
157- uh 50£ might be around $100... 50€ is about $66. Big difference between pounds and euro.
mollydarling 0
50 € is $66
Heinousness 0
230, I agree best with you.
boomsl4ng 11
I am idd from Portugal, and the awnser u were looking for, someone already gave it! :)
xNephilim 19
Eh, as a rule of thumb, your dollar amount is usually about 50% more than your euro amount. So if you have 50€, you will get somewhere around $75 dollars. Of course, that's when the exchange rate is really good - which happens about every other blue moon. Whenever my dad started sending me money from Germany, that's how much it was. By now it's less.
ycrem0n 21
Ahhh... Nothing like the love between siblings
marmlr339 14
I don't know about you, but I'm Glad my siblings don't give me that kind of love!
shutupAnderson 7
#10 Perfect pic lol
bryan_420 1
That's very... Awkward.
badmittonbeast22 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ah, brotherly love