Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
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Top comments
nataliewby 25
"Stay tuned as more updates are uncovered in this riveting story. And at seven tonight we tell you why you should never eat shady food. This is OP, channel five news."
cutycat136 28
I would call her and tell her again. It's one thing to try and fake it to get out of going to school, but if you have to call to tell her again even after she said you had to go to school then it's obviously not something you're faking.
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Comments (43)
andrmac 25
Salmonella 72 hours of poo! Stink up your bathroom at home don't use any deodorizers! She will learn the smell of is horrendous and may finally believe you!
PlasterBlaster9 13
Cool, u got to skip the test.
EnJey0 19
Your mom is a horrible person. No one should make their child go back to school on the grounds that "there is a slim chance they're faking it"
NostalgiaFreak9 43
It's possible he may have a history of actually faking being sick, and his mother couldn't tell if he was faking or actually serious. Either that, or pretty much what you said, she's a shitty parent.
diensthunds 8
If you are well enough to send this in to FML then you are well enough to take the test. Back to class faker.
yellowzinnias 20
I hope you told your teacher ASAP, if not before you left class then before you left for the day. If they know what's going on *in the moment* they have a lot more leeway to help you than if you come back a week later and say, "Oh, remember on test day? I was sick, so can I take it again?"
OPGDivinity 11
If it was food poisoning you'd be in a hospital you just had some rotten meat or bread that's all you'll be fine
GhostFox 34
. One of the causes of food poisoning is rotten food. Because rotten food is food that bacteria has started to break down. Bacteria that causes food poisoning. Don't know where you get your information from, but you apparently don't understand how food poisoning works.
GhostFox 34
Am I the only one wondering how OP and their brother are old enough to get a hold of "shady" chicken subs that were off enough to give them food poisoning but not old enough to be believed?
Frustrated78 11
Your mother is an asshole.
HolyBell 3
use the bathroom at home and don't flush. that'll convince anyone. you can also have you mom look at the proof before flushing