Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
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Top comments
jkp1291 25
This has to be against someone kind of law or policy. Please, for the good of mankind it has to be.
WCARlover 35
Wow you'd think he would at least do it partly for himself...ain't nobody want to be around that smell. Sorry OP :/
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Comments (70)
WCARlover 35
Wow you'd think he would at least do it partly for himself...ain't nobody want to be around that smell. Sorry OP :/
ScarredVox92 16
Sounds like a crappy boss to me. anybody? nobody? okay...
jerryj 27
Nobody. Now gtfo.
SweetheartSusie 20
That's a shitty situation OP.
Rkikkas9713 25
You should feel bad for that horrible pun.
WCARlover 35
If your comment is the situation you're referring to then you're absolutely correct
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
you're fired
fromwhereistand 2
for the day, why don't you sit around in your boss's cabin
jkp1291 25
This has to be against someone kind of law or policy. Please, for the good of mankind it has to be.
memeometer 11
This actually could be a lawsuit, did he say that he doesn't think you are sick?
devildog562 33
One of those situations that I wouldn't much care about working there anymore. I would drop my pants and finish what I started in hit office and use the chair as a wipe. Cause your boss is and asshole.
King_paradox 22
That's savage
joelp232 17
you should have busted a horrible bosses moment
Sportey 9
Nobody put YDI yet so tempting
chocolatelover96 14
1)Who the hell deserves food poisoning? 2)Here's another down vote you're clearly desperate for.
mustangbravo 27
What a dick.
stingray112 24
Go over in his chair and shit your pants in that too jk don't do that. Idk man maybe have other employees cover for you or something?
snazzymcwho 21
Either your boss is a dick, or you have a history of calling off for no reason. Most reasonable managers will allow people off when ill.
ataygarp 8
not true I've had bosses who made me go to work with 101 fever or wudn't let me leave when I was throwing up