Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 p.m. to realise I'd slept through all of my alarms and missed my really big presentation at university, all because I was up most of the night with food poisoning. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was the flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML
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Top comments
wildgenius 13
Did you vomit in the oven?
nonsensical 26
you should show up with a pillow under your shirt just to see their reaction towards your quickly grown belly.
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Comments (47)
wildgenius 13
Did you vomit in the oven?
teentee401 37
I, too, just read the previous FML.
oceanbrickfire 21
To anyone in the future, a previous FML involved vomit in the oven
Mauskau 36
They will stay in the same order, unless they're going through random FMLs, and I'm sure everyone can guess that it's a reference to another FML.
lnheritance 19
Following day, comes to class with a mullet.
nonsensical 26
you should show up with a pillow under your shirt just to see their reaction towards your quickly grown belly.
feven 32
"Wow that was fast"
cakefete2 31
OP will respond with, "If you think that's fast, you should have seen how I got into this predicament. Worst 45 seconds of my life!"
ThatTennisKid14 13
Well that escalated quickly
Guard_Babe 19
"It's a vampire-human baby."
1dvos_grl3 21
#31 Can you not?
GoGiants28 13
At least you get to miss school... I broke my arm and still had to go to school
FilleNoir 21
I think she's still went/going because her mom said she'd be late.
Paws_Cat 29
You can live with a broken arm. People go to school with broken arms all the time.
Smooth_Criminal 24
It's not about you.
1dvos_grl3 21
#20 How is that relevant?
Aew 17
Very unfortunate wording. I hope you get feeling better and clear things up with your teachers.
ParisSosa 11
at least you didn't vomit in school.
HeWillBeLoved105 22
I can see your mom doesn't care about the puking or dying rule for letting you stay home. Feel better OP.
AverageJoey 18
Sick this morning may have been more appropriate phrasing.
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, it's a two for one in terms of days off school... Today you get to miss for morning sickness, and tomorrow you get to miss class when the school counselor inevitably asks to see you in their office.
Exodiafinder687 58
Juno it's always scandalous if a student gets pregnant.
StickyPickles 33
The real FML should be all the awkward talks that happened the following day. .