Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Today, at the gym, a guy yelled at me to stop lifting more than his son, because I was embarrassing him by being a girl and lifting more. His son must have been 15 and I almost qualified for the Olympics, but sure I’ll hold back to spare the feelings of a misogynistic 15 year-old little bitch. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML
Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML
Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Seabiscuit218 12
Because treadmills will go faster if you yell at them.
Welshite 40
Don't worry. The treadmill will keep him running in place, and he'll never reach you no matter how slow you run.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
caleb_9756 14
H
Seabiscuit218 12
Because treadmills will go faster if you yell at them.
ojskyguy 8
OP's name fits the FML quite well.
thepelvicwoo 8
Brace yourself, here come the angry juggalos.
trickiestboss 10
voice activation of course.
garrett_8614 14
"GO FASTER TREADMILL" "I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN JOHN! I HATE WHEN YOU GET LIKE THIS."
incoherentrmblr 22
*Surpasses the Treadmill speed and runs through the wall like the Juggernaut in X-Men and/or Kool Aid Guy*
Welshite 40
Don't worry. The treadmill will keep him running in place, and he'll never reach you no matter how slow you run.
Ltsdragons 19
Or how fast he runs
WCARlover 35
Yeah you probably should keep comments to yourself at the gym
wallamanut 14
he did though. he mumbled it to himself. he didn't yell it across the gym or anything.
WCARlover 35
I meant in his head
gurbism 16
Sounds like you were right about his rage issues
Gittoh 21
steroids makes you insane !
twistedgrifter 8
Why treadmill no go faster?!?! Hulk Smash!!!!
cherry_popper69 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yelling at a guy who can snap you in half didn't sound like a good idea to begin with
blondeamazonian 18
Last I checked, yelling and muttering are very different things... Just throwing that out there.
oathkeeper99 31
They have FML in the afterlife? Sweet!
diving_fml 30
actually its FMD, fu*k my death...
SarahSehhati 40
He is hiding in the bathroom lol
Liamj774 36
Well props for speaking everyone's thoughts. Hopefully you're alright.
EuphoricSadness 18
He's just like Superman, except he's easily upset, in a gym, and possibly on drugs.
wyverntail 15
Sounds more like the Hulk to me.