Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
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Top comments
Teabubbles 8
*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .
lolololer 8
did they like your status? :P
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Comments (121)
Teabubbles 8
*In Red Forman's voice* "DUMBASS" .
iamyummylicious 14
I approve of this message.
at_1sexymofo 3
Why even post it on Facebook tho...
FinnishAmerican 3
The OP was trying to be "cool"
smarie98 1
Obviously you're going to have to make it up anyway.
jessecast91 0
I ALSO APROVE THIS MESSAGE
cyK0tek 0
^^This. Plus it's not official unless it's on FB! Derp.
mel_aka_mic 5
You sir just made my night!
scottieclark 4
Wow you are actually an idiot. Like seriously? YDI
osnapitzaris 0
welpp, the worst that could happen is you getting grounded. you still managed to weasel your way out of the test, so that has to count for something, right? it's the weekend, use your grounding time as your studying time! :D
LolFMLnot 10
Why would you have your parents on facebook in the first place? Thats a bad idea trust.
l0v3p4in 7
84 - I can imagine much worse than grounding . . . much, much worse.
cdelton22 3
That's a why ya don't a friend ur parents.
OzzyTheGiant 14
in Leslie Winkle's voice: Dumbass!
AlanHatesChu 0
Dumbass...
SpicyDuck 22
Dear sweet baby Jesus....
MrRuffyboots 0
That was better in Red Forman's voice.
jomo111 5
Can't decide between clap, facepalm, or tebow
lolololer 8
did they like your status? :P
Jaxx66 21
So basically OP, you didn't remember the stories of people playing hookie from work claiming they were sick, and then posting on their Facebook about how well they did in golf that day -boss is obviously a friend- and they get fired... That's why I just use Facebook for groups and such.
FaustXIII 0
YDI - not for skipping school, but for friending your parents on the Facebook account that you actually use.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Not going to school and getting a proper education is an accomplishment now? I should try it some time.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
to get* not "and getting". If you put "and getting", it would mean you would be able to reverse the two, which would then be, "Getting a proper education and not going to school..."
RahmEsHestos 5
35, that made absolutely no sense. You try to sound smart, but really end up making a fool of yourself.
jmaddlol13 7
xXxIracebethxXx meant "Not going to school to get proper education..." she is right about that. The next line she says that when something if followed by "and" it means that the sentence before and after can switched place. But "and" cannot be used in the case when the main action of the sentence follows by the other minor actions. Correct: He went to the cafeteria to eat his food. Incorrect: He went to the cafeteria and eat his food. I don't know why you guys are giving thumbs down because you can't understand xXxIracebethxXx.
jmaddlol13 7
Sorry for the grammar error. I typed fast because I am prepping for an exam; I hope I got my point across though.
benderbot19 0
FML = ******* megalomaniac linguists.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#62 - Thanks for making my comment clearer for those who misunderstood me. Don't worry about my comment being thumbed down. It happens.
RaquelW 7
It happens because you're wrong. If she writes "going," she has to write "getting" to follow the grammatical rule of parallelism.
RaquelW 7
Also, 62, that would be like saying "He went to the cafeteria and ate his food" is grammatically incorrect. It's not.
jmaddlol13 7
He went to the cafeteria and ate his food are two separate ideas when you put and there. Oh well I don't need to tell you illiterates anything. I got 800 on SAT writing section that proves that I know grammar.
4gethishit 4
well someone isn't good at lying....
xXxIracebethxXx 14
If OP was able to trick his parents, then he is "good" at lying. He acted before thinking, which makes him not very bright, not a bad a liar.
4gethishit 4
part of lying is being able to follow through with it
buckeye08 10
I'm getting the vibe of "troll" from #30...
tripangelx8 4
shouldn't parents be too old to have a facebook?!
brianjman14 23
Not really. My family uses it do they can get information to each other. Hell, even my grandma uses it!
DocBastard 40
Are you ******* kidding me? You think Facebook is for kids? Show me one thing ANYWHERE that even implies that Facebook is for kids. I think OP proved definitively that Facebook is too sophisticated for dumbass children and that only adults with more than 3 brain cells should be allowed to use it.
FirstTigerHobbes 13
3 brian cellz??!!!1!1 O knoz! Tht meenz i no kan uze fb!!!1!!1 D''':
DocBastard 40
No, I will NOT calm down. It pisses me off when people, usually kids, think that the Internet (or any part of it) is somehow meant for children or too "cool" for adults to use. Now go to your room!
DocBastard 40
The Internet was made by...wait, what? What the holy **** are you smoking? ARPANET was commissioned by the US Department of Defense in 1969, asshat. Kids didn't get in on the action until decades later. Why don't you unbury your head from your ass and go read a book. Maybe you'll learn some grammar and spelling while you're at it. ******* dumbass troll.
dsypher 0
Lmao
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Oh wait, comments were deleted. My comment is now pointless
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Tell all the people that have business accounts on Facebook that they're "too old." It's a networking site, not ******* Neopets.
videokid2000 10
But Neopets is fun. :)
MigraineurOfLife 15
We are just old people when it comes to teen-kids.SMH They know everything though, right? ~smirks~
Jaxx66 21
I'd bet you also think that older people don't have sex either, right?
ultrarandomalex 2
Um actually u have to be 13
buckeye08 10
136 - don't you think kids are smart enough to lie about their age? It's not that difficult to make an account, you jut have to say that you are of age. Not too complicated, really.
GetHardOrGoHome 7
You still are going to have to make up the test... Congratulations!
smarie98 1
36- did anyone ask you? Don't insult people for the sake of insulting people. Does it make you feel a lot better about yourself to be so rude?
Furrywhiplash 14
36- Oh, you are sooooo cool, bullying people over the internet. Maybe you should try removing that giant stick from your ass and try commenting again, or better yet, apologizing.
Mauskau 36
Nice face
AssassinsCRB 0
Wtf is wrong with you 129, you're a jackass.
ObsessedWithGays 7
You're still going to have to make the test up, you fool.
xCrazyMexican 4
So that means an extra day of studying for OP you fool
KindaFunnyRight 8
If OP was stupid enough to make a Facebook post about how he/she faked sick for his/her parents to see he/she probably won't be smart enough to study, you fool.
ObsessedWithGays 7
It doesn't matter whether or not she studies, she's still going to have to make up the test..
l0v3p4in 7
In some schools the teacher doesn't allow you to make up the test unless you have a legitimate doctor's note to show that you were in fact too sick to show up for exam; otherwise, the teacher just factors in a zero into the overall grade. OP should be grateful if his teacher shows leniency and allows him to make it up.
buckeye08 10
*facepalm*
FinnishAmerican 3
Facebook-1 you-0