Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
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Top comments
nataliewby 25
"Stay tuned as more updates are uncovered in this riveting story. And at seven tonight we tell you why you should never eat shady food. This is OP, channel five news."
cutycat136 28
I would call her and tell her again. It's one thing to try and fake it to get out of going to school, but if you have to call to tell her again even after she said you had to go to school then it's obviously not something you're faking.
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Comments (43)
guii_fml 24
7/11 chicken subs. Been there done that.
FuckedUpLive 7
Well, send her a pic
crazyindynathan 13
Can't even get a re-test if you attend class that day... Hopefully your teacher understands and doesn't think you are faking like your mom!
nataliewby 25
"Stay tuned as more updates are uncovered in this riveting story. And at seven tonight we tell you why you should never eat shady food. This is OP, channel five news."
Magnoxidans 19
I've been told never to eat American Subway so many times (I'm from Australia, land of the good Subway) :p
crudeandrudeguy 29
Very creative comment. Lol
Bok_Choi 8
Why does #16's comment have so many down-votes? Sure, it's irrelevant but it's still true. We Aussies have good Subway
Leanne798 25
Probably because the Americans I know at least actually like our Subway here, #34.
cutycat136 28
I would call her and tell her again. It's one thing to try and fake it to get out of going to school, but if you have to call to tell her again even after she said you had to go to school then it's obviously not something you're faking.
primadonna9396 16
Some parents just have their heads stubbornly buried in the sand when it comes to their kids having something wrong. Kinda the (equally ugly) polar opposite of the ones who insist their kid is sick/allergic to everything and has every physical or mental illness they hear mentioned on daytime talk shows.
thisguy22 33
Or... one or both of her kids fake being ill a lot so she can't tell when they're actually ill anymore. Crying wolf, as it were. I used to do that constantly just to get out of going to school.
repKyle95 24
Call her again but hold the phone's microphone just close enough so she can hear the awful sounds for herself. Believe me, she will NEVER try to question you again
Emma1562 35
Send her a picture of your shit and say there's more where that came from, I don't think she'll think you're faking anymore aha
PePziNL 20
Calm down Satan.
that90sgurl 17
What a shitty situation. Good luck op, hopefully you can retake the test!
JustThatPerson 21
Unoriginal, and not funny.
deathrise007 22
That stinks OP. Hopefully you feel better soon. Also, your mom is a bitch :3
_ravens_ 11
You throwing up wasn't enough proof that you were sick?
Brandi_Faith 34
With food poisoning you're usually vomiting and have diarrhea. So not a far reach to think op was puking.
jonjonguapito 15
Well, atleast this app served its purpose.