Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chellean11 0
Me. I don't see an issue with his priorities
ilovehamburgers 0
hunting Easter Eggs are awesome! and only comes once a year. you can have sex anytime.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (202)
ThisGi 0
it's not his fault your bad in bed
breanna895 0
damn. thanks?
xcarxcrashx 9
we dyed eggs first. get with the holiday spirit.
ADub55 0
there better be a sammich in one of those eggs.
Siskokidd 0
that's mest up. I would if save it for later haha
5t3ff1k4h 47
Mest?!
MissMaryContrary 3
Ummm... that's cute. I don't see what the problem is. Seems like women are always complaining about their sex lives. "He doesn't want to have sex enough," "he wants to have sex too much," "I have to fake my orgasms," blah blah blah. I guess I'm the only woman in the world who doesn't feel the need to complain all the time.
DarwinWillFixIt 11
Would you rather him hunt for the eggs while having sex? LOL
heathersmorin 0
Easter egg hunts only happen once a year. You can have sex after the hunt, and then place a special egg between your legs, savings the best for last ;-)
GallifreyDog 2
Oh lighten up, he doesn't deserve you.
Jester69 0
You never know what your gunna get in an Easter egg. I mean there could be chocolate!
luke134 0
let him have his chocolate! :p