Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
chellean11 0
Me. I don't see an issue with his priorities
ilovehamburgers 0
hunting Easter Eggs are awesome! and only comes once a year. you can have sex anytime.
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Comments (202)
denaysanders 0
me too
hannah1203 2
At least the first eggs were plastic...
esu 5
well it's a once a year kind of thing
coderedz 0
wait which one the egg hunting or sex for for the bf? lol jk
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
OP - put one egg between your legs. lol!
RainbowHeadache 2
Aw that's adorable, OP.
BadasS14 0
48- Lmao!!! thats a fkn win
DjeePee 25
Why is 1) sex not entirely important if you're not married and 2) becomes it entirely important if you are married? I didn't thought marriage would give a couple a bigger libido... OP, you are boring. Quit it. Even I, being almost a sex addict, would love to hunt for Easter eggs.
MegamiKaosu 28
My fiancé and I would love to hunt for eggs before having sex :D OP you're so weird this isn't an fml it sounds like a normal day to me
ieatcats 0
rather find those eggs than yours
roro9944 0
mybe he didnt have much of a child hood OP your making him miss out all over again!
roro9944 0
mybe he didnt have much of a child hood OP ur making him miss out all over again!
fyl12345678901 0
so get hotter
CassSanchez 5
50 - you are so pretty ! just felt like sharing ..
ahole123 0
maybe the eggs are more attractive than op
PsychoXtheXrapis 3
If you're relationship is that based off of sex, and there's no room for bonding, then you're doing it wrong. Please, just off yourself.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
imma laugh when he hid a wedding ring in one and she's gonna feel sooooo bad for posting this haha xD.
EddieBlake 0
I'm gonna laugh when she reads your comment, gets all excited, and there's no ring. anyway, you can have sex whenever you want. but do you really want the looks the neighbors will give if he goes out hunting for eggs he's randomly hidden on days that aren't Easter? sounds like YOU need to get your priorities straightened out.
Idonebeenhad 17
He's hunting for extra balls to put in your mouth
dhepper 0
this "Easter" guy needs his head checked...
jorrrk 0
too funny
jonverdevex 0
that is hilarious seriously funny
ImaWiseGuy 5
come on now, Easter egg hunting happens only once a year....no contest....
spearhead 5
actually 92 your very wrong there are many contests around for Easter egg hunting, I just won my very own Jesus doll!
breanna895 0
lol it's not funny! he's like well, if we have sex before, all I'm gonna think about are the eggs an where they could be hiding!!
airstik2003 0
I know lol I did the same thing. Easter egg hunts are awesome
chellean11 0
Me. I don't see an issue with his priorities
valri3 0
Me either. If he wants to do that, then quit bitching about it.
shithappens2memo 0
and seriously how long does it take to hunt for Easter eggs.....? when I was little we did that with my family and it took a total of about 3 minutes. and maybe he had a surprise for you in one of the eggs?;)
hereforthehour01 0
I think the fact that he wants to hunt Easter eggs with you is adorable. Appreciate the little things OP. (:
Taekwondude 0
Condoms in the eggs... interesting...
chellean11 0
he's merely saving the best for last
MrsFry 0
lol exactly, my fam always had a gift for me at the end, maybe that's the ways he's looking at it :P
karmennn 0
well of course haha
ilovehamburgers 0
hunting Easter Eggs are awesome! and only comes once a year. you can have sex anytime.
IscoreOnU 19
well technically you can hunt them any time of the year. But then they'll just be eggs
_Meghan_ 5
That is a good point :D
u_w8urtrn 2
well put
denaysanders 0
tell him to shove a egg up his but
TheNinjaBuffalo 0
She would, butt she doesn't want too.
A7X_LoVeee 10
I see what you did there ^
The_Moustache 6
I see what you did there.
Dudelike89 8
^I see you have a big stache of jokes.
spartanfan68 0
ho ho ho that was a good one Santa
krazygirl100 9
your sick
Beast_Hoff 0
i love diss fights... jokes :)
Chipmunk1994 0
That was like straight up dumb... it was about at dumb as the fml we just posted on
DavLynn 4
hey.. Easter egg hunting is fun!
bunnixbrutality 5
i dont even think op thought about her own eggs ;) two that are never found unless your a sergen haha!
gilleamb000 0
girls have more than just 2 eggs dumbass they have hundreds to last them til they are like 50. go take sex Ed again
insidejokeswithm 0
classic.
jane79 0
tell him give it up or he won't get it again he needs to hunt eggs after sex. lol
Nimmrodel 11
But then he will be tired thus his egg spotting skills will be compromised. Eggs first sex later everytime.
Siskokidd 0
for real
jane79 0
if he was with me I cum before the egg hunt
SoccerRebel594 0
Ew...no. You are nasty ugly horny woman.
michael38 2
really? you look like you don't get any at all.