Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to hunt Easter eggs before we have sex. I'm glad he has his priorities straight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
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Top comments
chellean11 0
Me. I don't see an issue with his priorities
ilovehamburgers 0
hunting Easter Eggs are awesome! and only comes once a year. you can have sex anytime.
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Comments (202)
12251984 0
YDI for having sex before you're married!
averyridesbikes 0
hahaha Lmfao that sucks
meegsiiee 5
Not much of a fml......
Adnelson20 2
So is Jesus, OP.
Oles123 0
Finally someone mentions Jesus :)
ilovefall10 21
*face palm* oh my god OP... seriously? you're pissed off just because he wants to have some fun hunting some easter eggs instead of having sex? which is something you can do ANY DAY. easter only comes once a year. stop freaking out... damn.
chaleighrae7 4
well hey. eggs over orgasms I guess.
randombitches1 0
hmm fake eggs filled with delicious candy ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR sex? it isnt a hard decision to make candy always wins! duh
whosechairisthat 0
giggity if u think about it
daaanielle14 0
hide them in your bedroom and tell him to come hunt for them
brillababy 0
that's fun! I would do it too!