Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML
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Top comments
AustinDenton 22
Haha! That's funny. "Excuse me teacher I can't do my work today because I will be making meth today"
hawkislayer 2
Sounds like a pretty legit plan, you will be rich.
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Comments (102)
AustinDenton 22
Haha! That's funny. "Excuse me teacher I can't do my work today because I will be making meth today"
raddybear 11
Get all that money just Remember don't melt bodies in the tub
chlorinegreen 27
Strong words from someone who has a pink cupcake profile picture
TheCanucklehead 22
#25 "Screamin thug life till I die before I passed out"
TheCanucklehead 22
#34 look at you Ms. Capone. You just shot #25 down with no regard for health or safety
OatmealCreamePie 5
I didn't choose the thug life; the thug life told me "I choose you!"
Girreth 7
i didnt choose the drug life the drug life chose me
jedorr07 5
Been there done that, never short of excitement. If only there were no risks!
hawkislayer 2
Sounds like a pretty legit plan, you will be rich.
TrueTriage 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I recently saw the Star Wars movies and chronicle seemed realistic enough I think I'm going to become a Jedi now. Anyone on board?
buckerado 19
Dude, selling drugs is the easiest and safest way to make tons of tax-free cash! There's nothing that can go wrong(sarcasm)...besides death, prison, etc..
IscoreOnU 19
If you've seen the show you know you've thought about it.
K410 18
Step 1: Learn Chemistry Step 2: Watch Breaking Bad Step 3: PROFIT!!!
DKjazz 20
I want to be a caterpillar.
da_directioner39 17
48, what about "???"? Is that not important?
SammyS2012 21
I thought thats why we major in chemistry? That's not what happens after graduation?
byron17 26
watch a few more episodes and he'll realise that they will be hunted by Mike Ehrmantraut! And Tuco and Gus! And probs the Cartel as well! Oh and the DEA...
Jemm_fml 29
Easy there Walter. Anything is possible when it comes to meth.
Trisha_aus 15
As long as you "apply yourself"
JazzHandsFML 28
your profile pic is so suitable for your comment!
said_aha 7
lol, thank god he didn't saw dexter
WCARlover 35
"didn't saw".....I can't.
MidnaLink 35
Do it... Doooo iiit!
said_aha 7
what's wrong girl ?
booboohoney 12
SEE!!!!! goddamnit...see.... you didn't SEE
said_aha 7
i learned eglish from movies .. so i think it's not that bad
alphatoomega 21
You're going to want to study spelling as well.
kewpiesuicide 29
And grammar...
HortonThelephant 15
Well? Hop to it! That methamphetamine isn't going to just synthesize itself now is it?
SolarFlare 20
Well, increasing the release of dopamine won't be the problem, if you know what I mean.
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. OPs boyfriend puts the DOPE in dopamine
150493x 29
Well hopefully he has seen Prison Break before you get caught ;)
iluvFMLs15 19
i love that show!! :)
thatgirlincali 13
So, does this mean I don't have a new drug dealer? Damn
SolarFlare 20
you can come to my country... it's a kind of legal here..
FightMyLiger 19
Sounds good. Just wait until Finals week, then jack up your prices and plan your retirement.
jaybear13 14
Oh lord. I would've laughed at that if i was in your situation. Hopefully he understands that you cant do that. Funny fml.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Well, what are you waiting for? Time to get to work.