Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML
Today, I realized I need a new job. This happened when I was seriously considering ways to break my leg so I could stay at home for a day and not have to deal with my boss. FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML
Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML
Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
Today, I tried to be a responsible adult and went to bed early. I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't fall back asleep, so I binge-watched a whole season of a show on Netflix. It was a terrible fucking show as well. FML
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Top comments
Senseless_487 29
Not only is it a terrible idea, but there's no way you can learn by watching that show. That's like thinking you can learn to count cards by watching 21.
spaboolly 26
Suggestions for more productive uses of your time: Looking for a job Donating blood/plasma Doing volunteer work Learning a new (preferably marketable) skill Catching up on reading Judging by the level of intelligence in this story, I would say the last one will take quite a while.
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Comments (69)
Senseless_487 29
Not only is it a terrible idea, but there's no way you can learn by watching that show. That's like thinking you can learn to count cards by watching 21.
GhettoXmuffin 7
I inadvertently learned how to count cards by watching that movie. Myth busted?
Senseless_487 29
Inadvertently learned, huh? I was trained to count cards (I'm a dealer, so it was required to know what to look for), and it took weeks of training. I highly doubt you learned just by watching a two hour movie that gets it wrong, anyway.
bimonthly 4
4- you're all over the boards right now. pretty sure you just commented to comment... calling bs
GhettoXmuffin 7
13- Ha.. (Raises hands) You got me.
agonydrum 7
How did it take weeks to learn? My buddy is security at the Cosmo it took him 5 min to teach me
Senseless_487 29
Five minutes to learn which cards are +1 and -1, yeah, but you have to practice enough to be able to keep the count under pressure, with everyone talking, and the sounds in the casino everywhere. So yes, it took weeks to be able to consistently keep the count without it looking like I was counting.
raNDMGUy 5
Fun fact though, Breaking Bad is factually correct with all of its meth making - they just mix it up and leave out a step or two so people like OP don't try it at home
nictransitglory 4
This is why OP is a broke loser. He gives up whenever something seems too difficult. While making meth is retarded to begin with, your work ethic is why so many people want to completely do away with social entitlements. Get a skill, then a job.
Codezlol 21
1- or like people who think they can actually shred on a guitar because they play rock band lol.
green2go 14
If he did try it there would be one less dumb ass to think about lol ( meth lab explosion)
CrewBoy 10
I hear Sperm Banks pay fairly well. Oh and Plasma. Hell, why not sell a kidney while your at it?
theluckyones 10
Just like the kid who sold his kidney to buy the new iPad. People do crazy stupid shit..
MormonPornstar 7
Yes, selling an unnecessary organ to a medical facility that could potentially save somebody's life with it, is outrageously crazy. -_- Who cares why he did it? If my donor donated to buy an iPad, I wouldn't judge him/her.
Senseless_487 29
I wouldn't call a kidney unnecessary. Having only one can considerably shorten your life. So selling one to buy an iPad is ridiculous.
vismund_cygnus 2
If a kidney is unnecessary, how will it save someone's life?
JayJay925 6
Because theres kidneys inside us and we can survive with just one. So if someones kidneys failed they can replace them.
MagicGiraffe 12
28, it's only donating if you DON'T receive money for it.
AKGirlinSD 20
Adding to 2's comment, if the OP, she could give up some eggs too. I wouldn't suggest an organ though.
AKGirlinSD 20
*if the OP is a woman...damn with my mistakes lately!
gc327072 31
Or the Chinese girl that sold her virginity for an iPhone 4s. True story.
speshlk37 13
Let's be honest, OP shouldn't be reproducing in any way, shape or form.
WearingHats 14
When will kids learn that it's a bad idea to emulate what's on TV?
Rosicles 8
16 and pregnant.. **** yes. Not ideal
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
when it stops looking so cool.
mashimarox 12
1) You're stupid for trying to sell meth. That can get you killed. 2) Gee I wonder why you're so desperate for money? Go get a job.
whiteboy896 9
3) Invest in some bud. 4) Sell it to potheads
mfischer 17
5) ...? 6) PROFIT!!!
Drigr 9
Desperate for money... has internet and access to breaking bad episodes...
imavelociraptor 6
Normally i would call OP dumb for not getting a job and complaining about being broke, but the fact the he thought watching Breaking Bad was going to teach him how to make meth is enough to make me believe that it's not really his fault and there may just be something wrong with him.
rowanessence 4
Where does it say he doesn't have a job? People with jobs get desperate for money too
neurodoc 1
As a next step, you should learn how to fly like superman or Spider-Man by jumping off of skyscrapers while you are at it.
Jaxx66 21
Nah 7- Our OP here would have better luck learning from 'The Tick'. You know, he can leap tall buildings and stop trains.
spaboolly 26
Suggestions for more productive uses of your time: Looking for a job Donating blood/plasma Doing volunteer work Learning a new (preferably marketable) skill Catching up on reading Judging by the level of intelligence in this story, I would say the last one will take quite a while.
peachy36 3
I agree with everything but one detail, you don't get money volunteering lol
spaboolly 26
Volunteering can help to get you a job that gets you money....
mfischer 17
Also, just because something isn't profitable doesn't mean it's productive.
Drigr 9
16, I would like to point out that you decided to point out that volunteering isn't profitable, yet didn't point out that "catching up on reading" isn't profitable.
docscientist 10
Reading is profitable. Just become a voice actor.
fatendestinny 4
Why should he do volunteer work... He's not going to get paid and he needs money... I'm this situation volunteer work... Not such a good idea
sirsquab 12
Why volunteer work? You volunteer work and look for a job. When you eventually get an interview, you can brag about your volunteer work, thus increasing your odds of a job. Also, reading and volunteer work are s more productive use oftime then watching breaking bad to learn how to make meth.
IHaveThePower 18
It sounds like OP has some kind of executive dysfunction. Most people, when they want money, can go work and get a job. If that's producing a reaction of 'my brain is stopping me because Too Hard', that's probably an executive functioning issue, and requires medication.
TurtleSmile 14
I have no sympathy for you. Get a job and bring some meaning into your life. It'll help motivate you and help your future.
mrsmaglietta 6
the hours that you spent watching it you could have started school or got a job
wlddog 14
One of the few times being lazy benefits society.
doodlecloud 27
I'm not sure what's worse - that you thought, selling drugs was a good idea, that you thought you could learn this from a tv show or that you actually thought it might be easy to make...
SecretMe00 5
15--I just had to tell you your pic of that cat looks exactly like my cat! Like identical! They're cute, huh? Lol :-)