Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend has been unemployed for over six months. He has applied EVERYWHERE with no luck, but he also has the opportunity to start his own business. Instead, he just spends his time sitting in front of the TV all day long. I'm starting to believe he is not a driven man, and I hate that. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, my husband decided he was finally going to quit his job. We literally bought a house last week. His job is/was easy, with pay way above his qualifications. After we'd talked about it FOR THE 50TH TIME, he did the opposite and texted the dept. head that he hates the company and wants to be part time at most. FML
Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML
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Top comments
KiwiKitten 2
This is a man with his future perfectly laid out.
The_Hitdude 12
Why not do both? Then he can hide his pot in the drywall. It's a win win! :D
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Comments (226)
KiwiKitten 2
This is a man with his future perfectly laid out.
Jakesterk96 8
He certainly has some high expectations.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
This man has a bright future ahead
ghostlilac 25
At least he's keeping his options open ;)
Cad6 24
OP please tell me why you're dating this guy.
alexup24 13
at least he's reaching for a stable job
ContractedTyler 0
Don't worry 10 I got your pun
xoconnie 8
Come on, i think you should ask yourself.. do i really want to be with someone who is deciding between those 2 job choices?? if yes... god bless ya and goodluck if no... dump him and find a guy who doesnt sell drugs!!!!! jesus christ, its not that hard!!!
Drigr 9
80, you do realize there were two options, right? And that hanging drywall is not dealing drugs, and as far as I know, it pays well.
GreenAppleDP 0
Hanging drywall does pay very well. My uncle makes $35 an hour doing it. As for the drug dealer, they make money too but if the boyfriend is doing drugs he won't be bringing much in. Lol.. Seriously, OP, just do your best to talk him into hanging drywall if those are his career choices. He'll make money and it's not illegal.
emmagillespie24 11
Dont say the lords name in vain
hope540 0
Why do girls go for dead beats... -.- its a shame really. Well good luck with that.
hope540 0
How is that saying the lords name in vain? He was saying god should bless her... is saying bless you when someone sneezes saying the lords name in vain too?
hope540 0
God bless you **
coried91 28
I believe 157 was referring to 80's comment.
beastmode707 1
Who says we have a lord? Or god? Freedom of speech and to believe in what you want.
kayla_ann0o 9
Well said.
mufc4everch 2
Usually the dead beat girls go for the dead beat guys.
francescabella 1
You know, you can sell pot and make quite a bit of money. And I'd you don't smoke, it's a pretty stable way to make money. Stoners smoke all the time lol they will come to you because they have a "dealer". Not a good way to make a living but more of a side job. I say do both :p sometimes money doesn't effect love.. Love it love :)
blackheart24 10
I'd say go with whichever one offers dental...
laden_swallow09 35
Oh, God. Not you again, francescabella! Didn't you say before that you weren't commenting here anymore? Go troll elsewhere.
Mysexyfaith 0
Or he can move to California get a growers medical card and sell to the dispensaries perfectly legal and he can have his dream job! Just a thought!
madelinebriana 11
Well, it's a difficult choice! Gosh
AwkwardPartyBear 24
He should go with pot. It can satisfy him and his customers.
X_Codes 11
Hanging drywall is usually a union job, though.
ClassyCommando 13
OP needs to be blunt with her boyfriend, and maybe she should help him find work. It needs to be a joint effort.
Rachiedank 0
#88 I see what you did there.. ;)
ClassyCommando 13
Well, 92, I'm just trying to lighten things up.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I wish I'd thought of that :/...
yaya1213 6
Nice pun job there. Lol
jizzwold 21
Now that's what I call a sticky situation. Am I doing it right?
zack11742 7
I see what you did there 148
madelinebriana 11
Why is it necessary to say "I see what you did there"?! Obviously everyone saw "what he did there" if he got thumbed up
burninnapalm 5
228- I see what you did there
lindora 35
I totally didn't see what 101 did until y'all mentioned it. Gosh I'm slow today.
nm11 4
132, no.
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
I really don't like spamming but 228 is gorgeous
itsawonderland 2
241-Clever haha.
The_Hitdude 12
Why not do both? Then he can hide his pot in the drywall. It's a win win! :D
Banana_Pancakes6 0
What's the boyfriends product? I could use me a supplier!
xcarxcrashx 9
Lmao 56 I read this FML as a good thing.
chance16 0
Hilarious
hellbilly205 17
I like your thinking 3! Genius 2 jobs = good profit
QueenQuay77 10
3- that was the best comment I ever seen on here. I definitely love it.
ohSNAPyall 27
What's he going to do once pot is legalized?
aaronire 19
You really can't go wrong with pot :)
SkoomaKi 28
Definitely pot, that way he can smoke some of his produce and it's a good paying job.
lianneg 0
You forgot about getting arrested when he gets caught...
SkoomaKi 28
Oh yeah, don't get caught ^.^
THExistentialist 13
skoomaki, once you see at least 7 of my comments, I want a bio in your about me too D: /offtopic. he could very well make it as a private contractor/ tax pirate to hide his secret drug dealing day job. or he could start practicing calligraphy for when he starts doing tattoos in jail. not that I'm against pot dealers, or think they should go to jail. I dunno. I had to say SOMETHING related to the FML after my ego-fail. o.o
SkoomaKi 28
42 - It shall be done.
twifan1901 0
I want a story too!!! :)
jwebster 8
He would smoke all his profits away. My ex sold pot. Too easy to get tempted.
Wozuh 5
Never get high on your own supply ????
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Dealing doesn't guarantee that you'll get arrested. It's not hard to be careful about it.
Doxy 22
SkoomaKi, guess you are the new official FML storyteller. Keeping track of FML Legends and passing their stories to future generations.
TheBeastiest 6
Skoomaki. This is off topic but I want a story. That's so damn cool. Back to the topic at hand, yeah and call the plants Billy since they would bring in the bills an pay the bills.
hellbilly205 17
SkookmaKi i would also love a story (:
john1234595 0
You think too hard here is the plan. Hang drywall and sell pot. That simple.
MissMae93 23
94 - You're 13 and enjoy Twilight. I'm pretty sure you're not getting a story ;)
SNICKERZforKYLE 4
Werent you judt talkin shit on the other weed related fml?
fmlurlife 0
182- biggie smalls ftw
Kriiistenn 14
I hope he's your ex boyfriend now...
nick315 8
Maybe or maybe she's decided it's cool and he should be a pot dealer when she helps him. While she also takes up a side job of prostitution. I mean, hey together owed money and **** money they could be the next millionaires...... or they could be the next show on cops.
ycrem0n 21
5 - Are you kidding me? That guy is a hero. He will be an inspiration to the youth, will be a good husband to OP, and be a great father.
GirlYouNasty 11
I hope you know your sarcasm sucks.
Genoc123 5
Agreed
evilplatypus 39
Considering that there is no "sarcasm font", it's somewhat necessary to lay it on thick so that the troglodytes don't get confused.
onlychildFTW 34
This is one of the instances where there IS a reason to leave your other, unlike all those other FML's. He needs to join reality and figure out a real job. But it sounds like his choices will be limited...
Kriiistenn 14
I'm not being sarcastic, I'm seriously saying that I hope she dumped him.
KeyboardWarrior 10
A drug dealing, drywall hanging future ex con! Brilliant plan. He'll be rich!
ScarletFever67 6
Sounds like a keeper to me;)
MonsterCommenter 4
People who sell pot for a living make good money...
KeyboardWarrior 10
Until they, you know, go to jail...
Urbanchiller 0
Sell pot, get rich, get caught, go to jail, bail yourself out, continue cycle.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Who knows this guy might make it rich, or hang drywall.
yousodi 10
Wtf,,, where do u ppl live that pot dealers end up in jail??? No cops bother with pot anymore n it's a total grey area in the law these days... Come on ppl support your local small businesses :)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Uh, well I live in Pa. Very much a no marijuana state, sadly. But I'm pretty positive if you sell weed on the black market it is illegal. Life isn't like that American weed show.
j_cat187 20
Ain't it something like $40 an ounce?
kittygogrr 3
It depends where u are. And American weed isn't nearly as crackin as CA. Dispensaries r on every block. And having a 215 means u can grow and sell a certain amount for and to other medical marijuana patients. I'm just saying.
hellbilly205 17
251- its $60 an ounce around here, and also if you get caught with pot around here all you have to do is pay a fine
PlaidPanda 9
Where the **** do you guys live?! 240 for an ounce is street cheap here, (for chron)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I'm with panda haha. Up here an oz goes for at least a hundred, and that's some shawg. 250 for the good stuff.
Urbanchiller 0
Look,every dispensaries gives out free small amount of weed, ofcourse if you have the card,so just drive around LA go through every single dispensaries and collect close to pound of weed, just saying.
watchitgo 4
Dude it's $60 for 1/8th of an ounce
Igor_g5 0
Selling pot is a lot more lucrative and easier. I think he should go with that.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Oh dear
lianneg 0
Nice boyfriend you got there.
Ruffclue 9
I got a better idea for him - Cop and a drug dealer.