Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Don't mention it
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Sorry grandma
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, I was trying on a dress at my grandmother's house. When I posed for her, she told me she would expand the waist, because I won't be sucking in the whole time I would be wearing it. The joke's on you Grandma, I've been sucking my stomach in since I was twelve years old. FML
Small talk
Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying to chitchat, he said, "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML
Let her have her fun
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Bodyshaming ain't it chief
Today, my grandpa pointed out my slightly larger than usual belly and made fun of it, by comparing it to a kidney bag. I’ve been underweight since I was 13, and when I finally gain weight someone has to make fun of it. FML
Gamergating
Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Top comments
Barriaultcory 16
When she has a stroke and they ask you to call 911 just tell her to suck it up
flashback.miss 28
make sound effects to what he does and see how he likes it. as for your grandmother, next time she complains about something related to her age, tell her to suck it up.
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Comments (67)
Barriaultcory 16
When she has a stroke and they ask you to call 911 just tell her to suck it up
JennaNGood 21
While my automatic impulse is to agree with you, I think we should all realize that yes, grandmothers and just elderly people in general day horrible things, it's more of a breakdown in social verbal filters as they age then what we would call deliberate rudeness. My grandma tells me I should lose weight before I wear certain things (and she would be right) but at the time, she doesn't really realize she's saying anything wrong, it's only afterward that she kind of thinks "oh I've f*cked that up haven't I" so yeah, this grandma is a bitch, (and I was going to say something like "but she probably means well" but then I rethought that.)
monnanon 14
hate to tell you but your grandmother is nasty to you because she is nasty. do you think senility is a guarranteed part of old age or something becuase it isnt. stop making excuses for nasty old people.
mFUNdo21 17
imagine if the dad had told her to "suck it in" xD
Lemurcat 12
#45, my grandmother was diagnosed with DEMENTIA and hasn't lost her "filters" and is very polite. She doesn't make rude comments to her grandchildren and the only thing she ever has to apologize for is falling asleep when company is over and for accidentally cussing around my little sister (And my grandma has had curse words slip ever since she became surrounded by her own children and had to watch her mouth. Let's face it, she likes to cuss, but at least she tries :) ) I'm not trying to discredit you or your grandmother. If you say that your grandmother doesn't mean it, I'm going to believe you because I don't know your grandma. But at the same, you don't know the OP's grandma. Every elderly person I know (which is a lot) is completely aware of what they're doing and saying to people. So it's very possible that OP's grandma is just a bitch. And I'm not saying "Oh, I'm right and you're stupid" because you might very well be right. We don't know. But I would like you to keep in mind that just because someone is elderly does not mean they are senile and are unaware of what they're doing. But whether OP's grandma is senile or not, her dad should've said something besides "suck it up." Sorry for the long comment and I apologize now for any spelling or grammar errors. Sometimes I use the wrong word without realizing it and sometimes the keyboard on my phone drops letters and spaces.
little_one 20
I hate my grandmother when I was 12 and going through a growth spurt she called me fat. I didn't talk to her for a while and stopped swimming at my cabin the rest of summer cause I was self conscious. Months later I was like my dad super tall and lean. All she said was wow did you ever grow. I still hate her for making a horrible awkward phase worse. When she's gone I'll probably smile.
flashback.miss 28
make sound effects to what he does and see how he likes it. as for your grandmother, next time she complains about something related to her age, tell her to suck it up.
Caitie_kid 8
Or she could fish her turd out of the toilet, wrap it up and put it in her coat pocket. If she asks about it, the toilet wouldn't flush so....
zed34 18
I wouldn't suck it up. As that may add to the weight.
jw90 18
When she dies do the army death march.
benmec 18
Ding Dong the witch is dead!!!!
TheDrifter 24
You know the rule, fat people and rich white guys are fair game for any joke. It sucks, but them's the rules.
Risho96 10
The "rich" part was needless. White guys in general. And Christians, Jews, basically everything I am. But if I throw it back I'm "racist" or "sexist" or even "a crazy hyper-religious redneck". Society needs repair to where everyone is allowed to make fun of each other equally, because it only hurts anyone if they can't throw it back.
twinkiefeets 17
I'm so sorry OP. Your grandmother sounds horrible. When she's in the hospital you can do your best impression of someone who cares.
Jseldi 10
Ouch
FeatherTips 10
On the bright side, she isn't following you around while playing the tuba.
DQEight 8
stop!!! i have a glandular problem!!!
kimee21_fml 15
Ouch :( my grandma was the nicest person ever, I could not imagine to deal with a mean grandmother... They are supposed to spoil you.. Im so sorry OP :( hope your other grandma is nicer!
UberNova 18
Stop..... Just stop. It isn't that sad, you and OP both need to grow thicker skin, you'll need it in life.
brianax36 14
I guess my grandmother has failed as a grandparent. I never got spoiled by her.
jasmine2301 25
Sedate her.