Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone except me. Then one of them said, "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML
Today, I went out for drinks with two 18 year-old girls and a 30 year-old woman. I'm 53, and wanted to hook up with the 30 year-old. She got drunk after an hour and went home in a taxi, meanwhile the two 18 year-olds drank me under the table. I'm sat with them trying to sober up so I can walk home. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Your dad loves you! That's why he chaperones you when you go to a nightclub! Of course, getting drunk and hitting on pretty girls is a nice bonus for putting up with the tedium of chaperoning.
24788 7
Never bring your girlfriend to your house.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
whataloadofbull 0
Wow, you seriously live up to your name, #1.
wienerwagon 0
Weird, you've done a good job of it as well.
dudeitsdanny 10
#6- Am I going to get a wiener from you, or will I be disappointed? =(
kristen_lesli 0
guess you'd like a weiner, since you look like the type of guy who doesn't have one. xD sorry, that was uncalled for xD you look nice, really. just try not to ask guys for weiners unless you really are gay haha xD
nessalujin 0
third!!
JoshTheMaggot 8
that's hilarious and I agree with #1 just be safe lol. I say next time you go out don't bring the old man.
24788 7
Never bring your girlfriend to your house.
DanielleTheOne 3
i feel sorry for the girl because imagin having a group of old drunks hitting/perving on you when ur at a club. I'd freak out.
shockcrow 0
creepy
Craig92EIRE 0
maybe thats his way of sayin he approves:)
neonokku 0
So the FML is that your dad is hanging out with your friends while the girl is complaining? Sounds like your jealous.
MissyWissyKach 0
omg i approved this one!!! u kno like when u moderate them oooh i approved this one!!
riku3220 2
No, the FML is the girl the OP likes now thinks his dad is a pervert.