Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML
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Top comments
Cads1 24
Lucky for you, guys never really grow up.
MDoremis 38
I'd be such an alcoholic if I dated a bartender.
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Comments (51)
BadKitty13 28
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd then you dumped him right ??
pooldude 24
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we have that "dump him" comment that has almost become a ritual on FML....
redrain567 16
Almost? It definitely is set in stone.
derangedplanet 23
while this may be true of being set in stone it's kinda a have to now. like a magic trick, *poof she made all your dreams come true...or just the one.*
Cads1 24
Lucky for you, guys never really grow up.
nuka_cola 15
That's sexist towards men
derangedplanet 23
It's also for the most part true. however, it's the type of people that don't grow up. not the gender. so as to say, some people got that growing up shit down. some people would much rather drink and smoke pot thier whole life and thats okay too. but its not growing up really. this man clearly belongs to the latter type of people who do not
MrPigu 3
#22 How the hell can you tell that "This man clearly belong to the latter type of person" If the only thing you know about him are: 1. He is male 2. He wants to be a bartender 3. He has a slight sense of humour.
momof3honeybee 13
Some men's toys just get bigger and some men grow up.
Pacers13 11
So true though.
derangedplanet 23
People don't usually want to be a bartender when they plan to grow up? it's the dream job for someone who wants to get women and have discounted alcohol. it's an overall fun job. and in my opinion. I don't like the people who "grow up" who the hell wants to be near an accountant?
saraaa2552 15
Well he's gonna go far in life...
dca101 23
You can help him out with that by dumping his ass.
DMA0712 22
You can grant him his second wish right now.
llama_monicz 21
Make it a reality
MDoremis 38
I'd be such an alcoholic if I dated a bartender.
sandhusaurous 6
And fat...oh wait
alexxxx92 9
make his dream a reality.
I_Like_Dogs 28
Everyone here is saying that OP should dump him... I think that's his way of dumping OP. He just made it a lot easier.
moodyreallyrocks 27
That was a very astute remark..
jizzyinmypants 8
haha im more impressed that this shit made it through moderation