Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
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Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
brandan020 10
Your boyfriend has got the best best friend ever! ?
The_Basileus 9
Wow, what a couple of twats. Dump his ass.
messymessiah 11
I was a bit worried before you said your mane was River. I thought you were about to say your family had drowned. I know. I have quite a morbid way of thinking.
TRexYouUp 8
Sorry about your boys horrible friend , but on the flip side my lil brothers name is Rivers. Not that you care but I thought it was cool.
shadowshalf 8
You should of pretended to drown.
fyl7899 12
Terrible name
jtea 10
If he's not your ex-boyfriend now, then YDI.
jlujan00_fml 9
Wow being a melodramatic violent asshole wasn't the answer?
AlwaysWatching 27
I would have laughed, sorry.
pike1346 3
It's just a joke. Lighten up. Same for all the commenters. I would want to be with a girl who can't hang out and be cool. Unless you are always being mistreated, laugh about it