Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Fun
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
What just happened?
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Sea legs
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
WOTAN1488 24
Dump him in the river
Alicimo 11
Aw lovely I'm sorry! That's an awful thing to have happen, your poor outfit and your poor ego all at once.
heyitsmikayla 14
It's just water...and boys will be boys. He could've at least helped you out though.
TeacherTeacher 11
"Boys will be boys" is the shittiest excuse ever.
nomoreparty 11
U will laugh about it in future.. Just take it as a joke unless u were going for something important that time...
Kikiers21042 18
By any chance, is your name river pond? Lol.
vanaathiel 13
You mean River Song? It' Melody Pond
lfrider92 21
Spoilers
allimarcy 23
That seems really rude and inconsiderate for both your boyfriend and his friend to do. Sorry OP.
ballislife2324 14
Damn people u guys overreact. If the girl isn't hurt from that I would also laugh. If u can't find the humor in this FML in which op didn't get hurt, then your sense of humor just sucks.
ballislife2324 14
Damn u guys are overreacting. It's funny what the friend did. And if u can't find the humor in what the kid did especially when op didn't get hurt, then your sense of humor sucks ass
BFlowing 21
River is such a beautiful name!!
chuchusheep 19
how sweet...your boyfriend and his friend sound like they're in elementary school.