Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
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Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
jackipdoc 31
He shouldn't have acted like that! Also, I've always thought River is a beautiful name.
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
Cayers97 12
Got to admit it though number 2 it was highly original haha
ukeandfoodislife 19
Your comment is pretty irrelevant. How does being #2 have to do with being original?
crudeandrudeguy 29
74- You get confused VERY easily don't you?
Chloe555_fml 27
Sounds like he needs to meet a knee to the tackle box.
TheDog6 24
Or High Five his face.
Yazoo77 16
Plan your revenge!
Kahli21 15
You mean ex-boyfriend, right?
_guy_j 12
OK no. OP shouldn't break up with her bf just cause he didn't do anything when she got pushed into a river. What a dumb reason that would be.
IamHercules 24
#5 Christ almighty, come up with something original to say. This is way too overused.
Loliology 10
#5- Ahh, FML, where everyones solution to a problem is breaking up with someone
I_Bite 22
#7 I don't think a break up would necessarily be the right move. but she definitely should be with someone who respects her and is willing to stand up for her. People can get really hurt being pushed into streams and it's plane rude. they obviously don't have the same sense of humor if he thinks it's funny and she's making an fml
mullet3388 16
*plain
thatonetribute 31
Your boyfriend sucks.
Miss_Chevious 37
As long as he does it well, OP shouldn't have a problem
IamHercules 24
I'm not sure what's going on in that twisted head of yours, but it seems like you have their roles reversed.
TheGolfGTI 24
I say plan your revenge. Water you going to do OP?
IamHercules 24
Not the worst pun I've heard.
Hoopachi 19
@12 but not the best…
worldclassrager 41
Is your boyfriends name dick?
Hunter4413 15
Does the Today, Today, in the post bother anyone else or is just me?
_guy_j 12
I'm surprised this made it past moderation
tiredofwaiting 25
Get him back when he least expects it.