Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML
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Top comments
IamHercules 24
Sorry OP, They both sound like immature asshats. You shouldn't be with someone that won't stick up for you.
MDoremis 38
You've picked a real winner.
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Comments (117)
chuchusheep 19
sounds like they're both in elementary school. i hope you're planning some bad ass revenge and then dumping him.
Ethan11170 2
Dump him .. Unless your wore a white shirt when pushed in then it's just guys being guys
OneFourNine 9
So making fun of her, making her miserable, possibly ruining some of her things and risking injuring her is wrong - but wait, it is all ok if that was done to expose her breasts? What a dumb comment!
NodakN8V 25
Now it's time to be Raging River
OneFourNine 9
The idiotic friend and your boyfriend have no excuse and need to mature. You need to decide if you want to wait around until that happen... which may be never. Real men and gentlemen still exist.
krad204 21
Or some ball-fisting!
CuriousYel1ow 13
With a name like River, I hope you have a sense of humor.
lfrider92 21
River song?
Etweens96 25
Dump water on their heads and tell your boyfriend your dumping him
xluciferx666 21
Dump him hop back on serenity with Mal and go back to the stars
anshu0688 7
This is a serious misbehaviour that accounts for possible loss of life. OP, you need to understand the reason behind this unpleasant act of your boyfriend's friend together with the actual point behind your boyfriend's high-five.