Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
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Top comments
trulypar 34
How sweet, he tried to save you from drowning in the washer.
SkullsRules1 26
That would have been a great time to just start talking and let him think that you had dissolved into bubbles.
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Comments (86)
anyagrande 31
Great boyfriend you have there
andrmac 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think you need to see other people that's just pathetic.
junjunbun 28
I actually find that adorable #2, even if it's a little stupid, it's cute he cares that much for his girlfriend. Aspecially after all the FML's about shitty relationships.
fakedsincerity 32
Are you kidding? it's adorable at best and silly at worst. Nothing to break up over, wtf.
KhaleesiDannie 26
You must be fun in a relationship....
laden_swallow09 35
If he's acting that retarded when he's stoned out of his mind, it makes me wonder just how retarded he acts when he's sober.
Indianboy9321 25
Do you really act more intelligently when not sober #32
Dilexar 26
Jesus. Go FML. Looking for any reason to tell people to end their relationships & find someone "better." This is cute as hell in my opinion & I would absolutely love to be in that situation.
rocker_chick105 31
My parents were big potheads in college. Once they and some friends were smoking and eating pizza (obviously), and two of the friends decided it would be a good idea to hitchhike. A day later my dad got a call from one of them asking for a ride. They were three states down. Yet everyone in that friend group is still doing fine today. It's possibly to be completely stupid while high and still be a functioning human being.
SashaTaras 26
At least he cares
trulypar 34
How sweet, he tried to save you from drowning in the washer.
SkullsRules1 26
That would have been a great time to just start talking and let him think that you had dissolved into bubbles.
Tripartita 45
Oh, he's probably just being goofy!
unholyswiss 19
Excellent partner choice, OP. At least he cares about yah, high or otherwise incapacitated.
hardcorefan16 22
At least he cares
minissaussette 25
Well alright, getting baked probably isn't the most reasonable thing to do but you gotta admit, that guy really likes you, it's actually kinda cute, at least a lot better than him getting sick of you and trying to shove you into said washing machine ...
KhaleesiDannie 26
Better than getting drunk and throwing up in the washing machine haha
KhaleesiDannie 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Better than getting drunk and throwing up in the washing machine haha
Dilexar 26
Better than getting drunk & throwing up a washing machine
Hunter_the_Ninja 22
I think that's really nice of him actually. He obviously likes you and cares about you a lot. Seems like a keeper to me :)