Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
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Top comments
Mynxie 26
You are disgusting. It's a public pool, meaning there are possibly children around and you do that kind of shit. I hope you were banned from the pool.
clairecurses 19
PUBLIC POOL.
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Comments (28)
Ed Munson 14
New definition of "stranger danger" for the one you accosted?
Mynxie 26
You are disgusting. It's a public pool, meaning there are possibly children around and you do that kind of shit. I hope you were banned from the pool.
clairecurses 19
PUBLIC POOL.
Obscurix 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
blah blah public pool blah blah. I just hope the guy was a good sport about it.
brianna1494 27
They were SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. There’s nothing to be a good sport about.
dwight7476 11
Look before you leap
DraftHail614 17
It's a public pool. Save that kind of action for the bedroom. With your boyfriend I mean... not the stranger.
T1A2Z3 35
I mean she's teased him now... why not bring him back to the bedroom too?
Lobby_Bee 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm sure you made someone's day. Be happy your brought joy.
Ellen Stewart 4
Yeah cause everyone loves getting molested.
unintended_consequence 5
Did you get his point?
donb23 23
Well you made someone happy or you are the next headline for sexual harassment.
RichardPencil 32
Shorts? Rigggghhhttt! It’s when you did the crotch grab that you really noticed the “difference.”;)