Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML
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Top comments
YummiGummi 0
witty. very witty.
McMike10 1
You're punny
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Comments (326)
Gamaryn 0
Classy. Yeah, It sucks he left you OP, But maybe you could be more mature about it and try and move on? Or move out if you can't handle seeing them together, Seeing as she is your neighbor. Hope it all works out for the best!
serenitychaos20 6
I see what you did there....hahahah
jswag15 0
She's right you'll only make things more difficult if u do that try and be the adult
Takaishi 0
Now where's the fun in that?! Dumping on her lawn is more fun imo..
W3ST 0
Says the 15 yr old kid... Jswag u here that from ur dad recently?
Tking86 2
Ur very sexy Go Canada. how's AT&T severice up
kalejaxson 5
Maybe you'd better "hope" she doesn't take a dump on your face.
shugacube 13
That's too funny
Bladian 5
Really? How old are you?
Northpoo 6
23 why?
XxAqwa13xX 6
Does it matter?
coletrain11 5
Old enough to poop on someone's lawn.
FreeDrawn 7
anyone is old enough to take a dump!
lilpowers 3
DO IT DO IT DO IT! :D
bobbycorwen 5
Girls don't poop... :(
KailyKii 11
We poop rose petals. :D
Northpoo 6
Really? Then what the heck was in the toilet last night???
zosfrosty 1
True story. They also don't sweat or fart.
taywuzhere 11
Hate to say it but thats not a true story..... Honest
bubo_fml 11
OP...I 'hope' you expand your options beyond the yard...(i.e. Doorstep, letterbox, car hood, window sill, garage door, etc..) Get creative & leave a personal 'mess'age via crap graffiti...
divadevon 0
Try crapping into a zip-loc Baggie, sealing it, cutting a corner off and using it like a pastry bag! Be really careful and you won't even have to get the nail brush out later!
TheNewGuy03 29
Experience? |the kid|
keepingitnasty 15
It seems like op's not over this guy yet. How is that revenge? **** it up and **** his dad.
bobbycorwen 5
Because having sex with his dad would show him...
downtime 13
32 It would have as good an effect as ******** on his new girlfriends lawn...
StalinsHeir 1
That's probably why he left you.... all the bad jokes lol.
hatesfate 6
Or the fact that she's a raunchy twit.
Enslaved 38
What a way to take the high road! Good riddance to a piece of shit!
perdix 31
Maybe several of them, if she ate a big dinner.
blink182AAR 6
What the hell? Who does that?