Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
Kinda expected
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
The betrayal!
Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my boyfriend left me for his sister. No, not my sister. His sister. FML
You can't hurry love
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML
Top comments
YummiGummi 0
witty. very witty.
McMike10 1
You're punny
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Comments (326)
YummiGummi 0
witty. very witty.
Natasa1996 0
verry lady like aswell :)
n_epic_fail 14
I like the way you think OP.
StoryOfTheYear 15
That'll get you a new boyfriend real fast.
divadro102 16
I like that grin. Fits the "evil" plan mood
superficialheart 11
Oh that's classy..
iBhope 7
Just my luck, I find someone with the same name as me and she's a total bitch.
Tommananaze6T9 4
Since when do dogs go on FML?
JinxosGirl87 0
This is more a FHL if she finds your shit in her yard.
fat_snooki_lol 6
Yeah. Maybe it was that attitude right there that got you in this predicament. Ever consider that?
FML_accounT123 5
This FML should read: Today my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend took a crap on my lawn, FML.
tatababe 1
OP crapping in her yard is your right! Go do it!
Jovecove 13
Haha you seldom get girls who talks like this... 'Take a dump' loool
omgcookeys 15
Op should get a dog and train it to poo in her neighbors yard. :P
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Wait.. So she wants to take a dump on her yard just because her boyfriend left op for her? Don't you think that that's a little over the top? I realize you're heartbroken, but come on op, move on. You couldn't have expected him to love you forever.
taytay6510 6
I used to take dumps in people's yards...then I took an arrow in the knee.
downtime 13
OP he left you for her, he didn't cheat on you, people have every right to be with whoever makes them happy. I see no evidence that he did anything to you, so maybe you should get over it. Do you wonder why he left you? From this one short story the rest of us have a pretty clear idea.
Boygenius50 8
It's ok, her mom's probably a serial killer.
TheClumsiest 0
i see y he broke up wit u. well try too move on kk? their will be other dudes. haha i did that on purpose just to annoy you grammar nazi's :)
heartbreakatdawn 0
...cause that's not trashy...
angeluv_2014 22
She's just venting! No one likes to be dumped, especially for another woman... That would make me feel like shit. Now read this comment again... DUMPED, SHIT; this FML is just a play on her feelings. Now, have some sympathy and imagine how CRAPPY she must feel.
McMike10 1
You're punny
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You "dump" me, I "dump" you :O that's really gross and disturbing, girls don't poop!
Ecklcakes 15
OP needs to think of a better revenge. Such as taking a dump on them while they sleep.
nixter5 18
Like dump by the furnace intake to their house so the whole house smells like shit.
rexgar2000 10
I would shit in her pillow. oh yeeeah...
jbchica 7
hahahahahahhah good point
allen2688 6
Aha you got that of that failblog comment hun?
brown4lifejot 1
Shouldnt it be FHL??
EffYoLife 14
wipe your ass with her pillow case and give her pink eye
ciarakennedy 4
That's both sad and descusting....
Italiae 7
Seriously..? I still wait for the day when people can actually spell...
himynameiskrista 0
DISGUSTING. xD
Spike300 12
6- Even though you spelled "because" as "cus" in your next comment. Nice use of irony.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
People make mistakes :) good thing I'm not a people! Himynameiskrista, you're adorable :D sorry for creepin' :o
Italiae 7
I still spelled cus right tho lol
Italiae 7
Sorry, THOUGH
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Just as worse, gotdammit! >:O
Spike300 12
It's not the fact that he abbreviated it; it's because he is being hypocritical. If you are trying to abbreviate because, it's 'cause, not cus. Grammar Nazis FTW!
Italiae 7
Sorry, would you like me to spell them out like this? Because it is just easier to abbreviate words, which I at least spell correctly.
Spike300 12
Never start a sentence with because; that's just common sense. I shall stop arguing with an inferior being such as yourself, so as not to fill the comment section with spam.
cjade5 0
Technically "cus" isn't a word just slang, therefore you spelled "because" wrong..
StoryOfTheYear 15
30- I've learned that admitting you're wrong before obliterating an entire thread is key to making things right, partially anyway.
evilvagina 9
you mean disgusting?
OriginalimoaN 15
Hey 22, you know "never mind" isn't one word right? Talk about annoying errors needing to be fixed...
Ecklcakes 15
You guys are all annoying errors that need to be fixed. Stop wasting comment space (in this thread I'm pretty everyone has either misspelt or corrected something correct at least once). So BLEH.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^^^ Lolwut?
chinkychick 16
It's 'descusting' that you don't know how to spell disgusting.
screamo_neve 12
These comments make me feel like I'm in Grammar class...
MissBTM 0
Shh
Northpoo 6
I like cheese
Ecklcakes 15
You're such an attention seeker. You clearly don't like cheese.
thisisafunnyname 12
40, you can start a sentence with "because," but teachers teach little kids not to because they usually use it wrong. As long as there's a subject and verb then it's fine. Because he spelled "disgusting" wrong, he was raped on FML.
thisisafunnyname 12
*34
unhappybitch 8
ALL OF YOU SHUT THE **** UP
witchdoctor1 9
She never had because in her comment. Lol
Yodelmeister 18
34- Because you don't understand subordinating conjunctions, I just grammatically owned you.
Italiae 7
Cus that'll show her...
thisisafunnyname 12
It's not even her fault, it's op's ex-boyfriend's fault; she might not have even known that her new boyfriend was going out with op.
ohmandapants 17
She's her neighbour. She most definitely knew. And I'm pretty sure 4 was being sarcastic. OP, have some class. Taking a dump in her backyard is nasty.
saksxalmo 20
#149, I don't know who my neighbors are dating. It's definitely the ex-boyfriend's fault (assuming he cheated, because if he didn't, then OP needs to get over it) because it's his and OP's responsibilities to be faithful, not the neighbor, who never made any promises of commitment to anyone.
ohmandapants 17
So you've never noticed who your neighbours are dating? I have. And they've noticed my boyfriend too. You're bound to see them, just like her neighbour was bound to notice this guy at OP's house at some point. So yeah, she probably knew.
saksxalmo 20
#209, no, I haven't. Congratulations that you have, but obviously not everyone is the same. The neighbor might be like me and not pay attention to who her neighbors are dating. Either way, the boyfriend's decisions and actions wouldn't be the neighbor's fault/responsibility. The boyfriend made his own decisions. #216, read what I wrote again. "assuming he cheated, ***because if he didn't, then OP needs to get over it***" We kind of agree, don't we? I'm saying that it doesn't matter whether or not he cheated, because the neighbor couldn't have forced the boyfriend to do anything and shouldn't be punished for the boyfriend's actions.
charlie43 1
AC Milan sucks
Italiae 7
Barcelona swallows xD
tguillaud550 0
Euh..
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
Oh shit.
minisquid 9
Anyone remember that old FML about piss pipes and poop chutes? It sorta flashed into my brain when I read this...
LegalyWhite 7
Well i "hope" that she will have to clean it up
me_gusta_eso 1
You should just stay away from puns.
LegalyWhite 7
You sould stfu
screamo_neve 12
You should learn how to spell.
EddiE_CN 8
*Insert shitty pun here*
biglittlehead 12
I want to thumb up this comment but I can't because it has 69 thumb votes on it and that's too funny to ruin. o.0
fantita495 19
You're feeling witty right now, aren't you?
tucansam555 3
That's more like A text u send to ur friend not something on fml...