Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
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Top comments
senor_octubre 24
Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.
firefox9778 20
Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?
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Comments (95)
flopstar 21
That's actually impressive
kowsee 22
Ive heard a lot of men say they would love to be able to do that, just to see what it would feel like. And he cant anymore, at least I assume from how you worded it, so why would this be anything more than something to giggle at? At least I got a giggle :)
yerawizardlizzy 27
I would have cracked up, personally. I don't see it as anything more than something to laugh at either. Maybe it's just me, but when I read this I was like, okay?? So??
GrainHauler 9
I lost control when I read this and everybody started looking at me like I was on drugs
Bitchpuddin 7
Hahaha!!! That shit made me spit out my tea.
pwage0607 1
It's technically not gay, its just masturbation...
Tripartita 45
Wait, is there an age you're supposed to lose that ability?!
citrusglass 22
There are dark years ahead...
Tripartita 45
I… I'm scared of what lies ahead.
PhoenixChick 26
Just wait until he's old and waxing poetic about the golden days of his youth.
thatsme293 28
Now he knows how to appreciate his hands.
hipposteve 21
woah! I was so curious if guys actually did that! groddie!!
syki 22
Please, it were anatomically possible, tell me you wouldn't at least try to do it even once.
syki 22
Whoa, hi English language. *if it were anatomically possible for women
Kiernan151 25
Yeah self sucking is a thing. Sadly for most of us though, we aren't flexible enough without doing yoga for a long time in order to reach it
hfslkp47012759 28
Actually I feel like it wouldn't work well. After a while the stimulation is really intense...makes you wanna relax and not focus on tongue work. I wouldn't be able to keep it up long enough to finish.
syki 22
@45 I mean, I've never had that problem with my fingers, but I agree the tongue/oral muscles generally have less fine control and are quicker to tire than the hands. …Would still try it, though.
ladycoco8 20
Honestly, if could, I would definitely try. I'm all about self pleasing.
Grandiablo 2
Well, I can actually do it and am 100% straight. If I had to describe the feeling of "first contact" - it felt as if Ive learned to walk all over again...about oral muscles getting tired...usually its not the problem of your mouth getting tired, but the back...because that is what gets stretched a lot and for long periods of time...honestly, Id much prefer just getting head from a girl cuz that wouldnt be as tiresome...its more of a thing if you dont have a partner
Ri_Fox9 9
It is actually quite common for young guys to be able to do that.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
That takes determination. Give him a round of applause.